How would you like to swing with Jonathan Groff, baby? Would you dig a hot three-way with Tony Kushner and Craig Lucas—or Julie White and Teresa Rebeck, if ladies are more your speed? Maybe you’d rather get it on, Broadway-style, with the entire cast of Chicago? Or show Lewis Black how skilled you are with balls and wood and holes? If you’ve got the money, kid, the world is your oyster, open-shelled and ready to be shucked—all thanks to the good folks at Playwrights Horizons.

The Off Broadway institution’s annual Spring Gala Benefit is just around the corner, on April 27. It doesn’t come cheap: Ticket prices start at $800. If you’d like to go, call Alyssa Biber at 212-564-1235, ext 3146—but you don’t need to attend to participate in the troupe’s fun-packed online auction. What’s on the block this year? Well, for starters, there are the items mentioned above: a trapeze lesson with Groff; a night at the theater with Kushner and Lucas, or White and Rebeck; a walk-on role in Chicago; a golf game with Black. But you can also bid on the the chance to have a song written especially for you by William Finn or Michael John LaChiusa; many items of memorabilia signed by the likes of Aaron Sorkin, Mary-Louise Parker and Kathleen Chalfant; lunch with Steve Buscemi or Jeffrey Toobin; travel packages to various locales; and much more. To search the offerings, click here. Just put in your bid, then let Groff and the rest do your bidding.