You gotta hand it to Williamsburg’s Brick Theater: These kids know how to throw a high-concept festival. Past years at this cozy, brick-lined performance nook have brought the Hell Festival, the Moral Values Festival and the $ellout Festival. This summer, from June 1 to July 1, pull out those sunglasses and turtlenecks, cuz the Pretentious Festival is coming to town. Highlights include: Ian W. Hill’s Hamlet, in which the freshly bleach-blond downtown auteur casts himself as the melancholy Dane; Sirius radio host John DeVore’s The Sophisticates, in which he skewers literary bloggers for their titanic self-regard and hypocrisy; playwright Matthew Freeman’s process-revealing, navel-gazing Interview with the Author; and TONY contributor Jeff Lewonczyk choreographing an iambic pentameter–free Macbeth Without Words. Brick cofounders Robert Honeywell and Michael Gardner have their own smug offerings: Honeywell will condense the history of theater into a 90-minute lecture in Every Play Ever Written, while Gardner orchestrates a free, 30-minute work called Nothing, which he insists it really truly is. We highly recommend that the right sort of people check out the fun next month. All this plus mimes, long, abstruse titles and more snooty ‘tude than you ever thought possible. Extra fun at the festival blog can be had here; check out the awesomely pretentious video.