Reach into the back of your cupboards and you will find the start to your perfect Saturday, otherwise known as canned food. This is all you need to gain admittance to “Canstruction,” which donates the building blocks of the art on display to City Harvest once the show is finished. Another great idea that helps people (it taught us to count to 12) is Sesame Street, which gets a new exhibit at the Brooklyn Public Library to celebrate its 40th anniversary.
We’d like to hear Peaches do a remix of a Sesame Street song; perhaps she will tonight at her show at Terminal 5. Or, request that Craig Finn and Tad Kubler of the Hold Steady sing “If Moon Was Cookie” at Radio Happy Hour.
If you’ve got a costume, you just have to rock tonight: Your options are the baroque bash “The Return of Rococo” and the voguing competition Moda La Envidia Xtravaganza Ball.
Strike a pose on your perfect Saturday.
Your perfect Saturday has the ring of truthiness to it, as does the statistic that 24 percent of Americans believe news spoofs like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are replacing actual news programs as places to learn about current affairs. Colbert writers address this very point at “The Truthiness Behind the Lines.”
We hope you can handle the truth; sometimes it can be shocking, like the fact that Superman cocreator Joe Shuster illustrated a series of erotic artworks, and you can draw these superhero fetish poses at Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School.
If that blows your mind, just lose it at rock & roll events like Target First Saturdays at the Brooklyn Museum or Bruce Springsteen at MSG.
Sounds like your perfect Saturday all right, ain’t that the truth.
It’s only your perfect Saturday, but we like it. And it’s only Rock & Roll, but it still makes for a rollicking new exhibition. “Who Shot Rock & Roll: A Photographic History, 1955 to the Present” opens to the public today at the Brooklyn Museum. We all know turntables are the new guitars though, so for something more current, go see DJ T. at the Basic NYC and KGB party.
Of course, it’s All Hallow’s Eve, which means you can chase zombies through the streets with the role-playing game Undead Invasion, and then march down Sixth Avenue with them and other ghoulish apparitions at the 36th Annual Village Halloween Parade.
And to find out how Madonna, Britney Spears and an amateur gay webcam pornographer fit into Dan Fishback’s new work, check out your perfect Saturday.
We know where the kids are at on your perfect Saturday: They’re in the pumpkin patch at the Central Park Pumpkin Festival. Larger kids, however, will be reenacting the Marshmallow Civil War with that crazy gang from Newmindspace.
Celebrating its first birthday is the youthful 92YTribeca, and it’s got Sufjan Stevens at its party.
If, as a child, you had an overactive imagination, you’ll love the neo-Victorian outfits at Steampunk II, although it may be too scary for the rug rats, as will the Scottish Catherine Wheels Theatre Company’s production of Hansel and Gretel.
The kids are all right, but your perfect Saturday is better.
Sharpen your rapier-like wit, you’re going to need it on your perfect Saturday when you don Victorian garb and quip your way to Dances of Vice: The Importance of Being Wilde. If you’re not well disposed to rakish affectations, perhaps a pansexual cyber-fetish party is more up your alley? If so Click + Drag 3.1: The Second Coming will satisfy.
Still not your cup of tea? That’s alright, your perfect Saturday doesn’t judge, it’s your perfect Saturday after all. There’s the Halloween extravaganza A Nightmare on North First Street, the banging Wurst Record Release Party and speedo-clad waiters serving from an open bar at the Pink Party.
If you’re a rebel without adequate decor, pick up a poster from the Art of Rebellion or just immerse yourself in aesthetic pleasures at Essential art and music festival.
You’ll have fun, but please beware of cads and bounders on your perfect Saturday.
Thank goodness that your perfect Saturday is in 2009 and not 1915, or you’d be watching the KKK propaganda piece Birth of a Nation rather than DJ Spooky’s (left) overhaul Rebirth of a Nation, deconstructing it into a piece of contemporary art with graphics and music. 1915 didn’t have the drunken Robot Monkey World Chimpionships either, so there’s that.
As well as the nine other festivals this weekend, there’s the Gowanus Studio Space Pre-Build Bash, an exhibition in the non-profit’s new space before they move in. They have pies, boat rides, locally-brewed beer and more, but they don’t have the grill going like Bloodshots Record BBQ.
Finally, MoMA throws its first “MoMA MiXX” with artists taking over the turntables before relinquishing them to Hercules and Love Affair’s Andy Butler, Eamon Harkin and Justin Carter.
Your perfect Saturday is now.
Where the Gs at on your perfect Saturday? Why Germany and Greece are at the 52nd Annual German-American Steuben Parade and the Greek Cultural Festival, respectively.
Gs, in the more traditional hip-hop sense, will be nodding their heads to Lupe Fiasco at the beach at Governors Island or stroking their chins listening to Wu-Tang Clan’s Cappadonna and Force MCs will discussing their craft at Get Bizy Black Book party.
Having nothing whatsoever to do with the letter G is Trouble & Bass Third Anniversary party with dubstep dons Skream and Benga.
Your perfect Saturday has been brought to you by the letter G.
Your perfect Saturday will (or at least should) culminate on this bridge to your left listening to a surprise local band. Such is the wonder of the daylong Manhattan Wonderwalk.
If you need some sustenance during the urban hike, toddle up to Central Park for a free picnic prepared by master chefs like David Chang and Wylie Dufresne at the French Institute Alliance Française’s Le Bal NYC. It’s very nice of the French to treat us so well, it’s almost like they’re apologizing for something.
Also today, musical entertainment is provided by Mos Def on Governors Island, Sway Machinery on a Gypsy Boat Party, and pretty much every DJ worth his salt at Halcyon’s Tenth Anniversary Party.
Take care of your perfect Saturday and your perfect Saturday will take care of you.
In a warehouse, somewhere in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, your perfect Saturday lies dormant. Just waiting for the start of Winkel & Balktick’s Burning Man-inspired party Stranded. The other big party going on is the huge festival with huge tunes: Electric Zoo.
We hate saying goodbye, so we’re just going to say see you again to Warm Up, BKLYN Yard at Brooklyn County Hoedown and Venerations (Applause 1) at the Chelsea Art Museum.
Watch your perfect Saturday ride off into the sunset, safe in the knowledge it’s saved your day.
Unfortunately, that thing waking you up by licking your face is not your lover or dog. It’s your perfect Saturday. Proving once and for all that Chihuahua’s make poor rescue dogs, the Chihuahua Races have been canceled due to the weather.
Dump the useless pooch, a chimpanzee makes a much better pet. Michael Jackson knew that, so celebrate his music, dancing and animal appreciation at Spike Lee’s Michael Jackson Tribute, “Forever, Michael: Michael Jackson Birthday Party and Fan Art Tribute” or the Q Tip and Mark Ronson helmed Long Live the King.
MJ overload? Put your hands in the air with other ravers in Central Park for Paul van Dyk’s annual shindig or laugh your ass off with Statues of Liberty. Your perfect Saturday welcomes ye huddled masses.
What is that nuzzling the back of your neck, stirring you from your slumber? Why it’s your perfect Saturday. Hop out of bed before it rips off the covers and haul ass to the Rockaways for an art, music and taco extravaganza at Shake OUT, or listen to future and current literary talents on the grass at Fort Greene Literary Festival, or even do a spot of shopping in the Lower East Side via London at the Wish You Were Here pop-up shop swap.
Grab a bite to eat and then spend your early evening either watching a free performance of Dances from Home by Maureen Fleming. or sketch some superheroes and supervillains at Draw-a-Thon Theater.
End your day in a musical way with an All Star 34 Band Salute to John Hughes at Cake Shop, or slip on those dancing shoes at Fixed: Joakim + The Drums. By now you’ll be exhausted; cuddle up to your perfect Saturday and get some sleep.
Can you hear that? It’s your musical perfect Saturday serenading you with its siren song. There’s Hip Hop Karaoke, Brand Nubian at the Sound Liberation Festival 2009, Animal Collective and Zomby at Celebrate Brooklyn and the Overboard dance party.
If you’re an audiophobe, head for the hills that are not alive with the sound of music, specifically the hills of Dwarf Pitch Pine Barrens of the Badlands and Verkeerder Falls for a day hike with Kevin Rosenberg of Gear to Go Outfitters.
Your perfect Saturday is in good voice.
There are four competitions competing to provide the entertainment on your perfect Saturday: the King of New York BMX competition offers its 15th year of ramp madness; the International Yo-Yo Open will dazzle you with crazy string tricks; watch furious paddling at the Hong Kong Dragon Boat Festival; or furiously paddle your kayak in the Harrison Street Regatta race.
Then two major music events go head to head for your favor: Wordless Music: Rhys Chatham + Liquid Liquid plus 198 more guitars pray for sunshine and the Brooklyn Electronic Music Festival worships the bleeps.
Everyone is trying to make your Saturday perfect. Won’t you let them?
Spend your perfect Saturday paying tribute to dance great Merce Cunningham at Evening Stars where the Merce Cunningham Dance Company will perform the master’s original choreography. If Dash Snow was more your cup of tea, head to Deitch Projects to sketch your feelings on an open wall mural.
Later today, check out the bewildering arial theatrics of Riddle of the Sphinx at the House of Yes or the bewildering turntable trickery at the USA DMC Finals.
Your mind stands ready to be amazed on your perfect Saturday.
Why does Coney Island tend to figure in your perfect Saturday? Probably because it hosts events like the 19th Annual Sand Sculpting Contest. To get the sand out of those cracks, head to Williamsburg for the Keep It Clean Bike Wash, where Smokey D Dazzle and his crew will be more than happy to give you a rinse, too.
Since you’re in Williamsburg you should take in the City Reliquary museum’s fund-raiser The Brooklyn Boogaloo & Barbecue. If boogaloo isn’t music to your ears, your other options include trance at Love with Richard Durand or a celebration of punk-rock band the Minutemen’s 45-song long-player at the 25th Anniversary Celebration of Double Nickels on the Dime.
If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, find out how you can incorporate video games and fish into your perfect Saturday.
How can you stay in on your perfect Saturday? There’s something for all types. Skaters: Get lessons and free stuff, then take over the streets at “Block Star 1: Brooklyn.” Those into psychobilly: Take your hot rod to The 3rd Annual Psychobilly Luau for killer clowns, Deadbolt and go-go dancers. Goths: Eat cucumber sandwiches in a cemetery to really screw with people heads at The Gothic Charm School Tea Party Picnic.
Don’t worry if you don’t fit into any of those boxes, there’s free hip-hop, indie, dance and African music happening on your perfect Saturday.
Want someone to take the mystery out of your perfect Saturday? We’ve got options galore. Want to embrace the mystery? Get yourself on art collective Flux Factory’s Going Places, Doing Stuff adventure-as-performance-art tour. You’ll get on a bus and, well, that’s as much as we know.
There’s a chance for a prom do-over with Pretty in Pink ’80s prom, but with $3 champagne all night, you’ll probably leave with puke on your shirt like last time.
Having no money is no barrier to grooving your ass off today. Detroit techno god Juan Atkins spins at art-music blowout Essential, and Dead Prez and Shilpa Ray play sustainability festival Citysol. Both are free.
The details for these and other events are right here in your perfect Saturday.
Happy Fourth of July everybody. It would be wrong not to do something free when we’re celebrating our freedom from bad teeth, warm beer and being hassled by the King of England. You can cheer Joey Chestnut at Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest or view a copy of the Declaration of Independence at the New York Public Library,
There’s plenty of free music today too as Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band perform in Battery Park, America’s diversity is celebrated with an eclectic mix of performers at Target First Saturdays: America Remix and 50 bands play at the Brooklyn Tea Party.
Or you could always head over to Liberty and Ellis Islands. Tickets for tours of Lady Liberty’s crown may have sold out, but is there a better day to go and salute her? Check out what you can do if you take the boat here. Then head to these spots to catch fireworks on the Hudson.
There’s plenty more options, including the first Warm Up party of the season, on your perfect Saturday.
The silver screen beckons this Saturday. Catch a morning screening of Exodus at the New York Asian Film Festival, before pretending you’re in Be Kind Rewind by dressing up as one of your favorite film characters at the ’80s Movie Character Dress-Up and re-creating movie scenes around New York. Finish up with an all-night movie marathon at BAMcinématek.
However, if you go see Exodus, you’ll miss your chance to try out for the Bunnettes, who keep count at Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Championship. Or you may need the whole day to apply eyeliner for Cheryl the dance party’s latest, um, dance party: Goth Spaceship.
Choose from these and more things to do in your perfect Saturday.
Mermaids: not so alluring when you see their scaly bottom halves.
It’s that time of year again: The glittering Coney Island Mermaid Parade swims ashore. Make a day of it with the “Mermaids of the Deep” show and the roller-skating Mermaid Ball.
If you’re of the opinion that mermaids are horrendous mutants, an affront to God and man, get your fill of pageantry at the Pride Week opening rally or Bicycle Film Festival’s street fair.
Whichever one you choose, round off your perfect Saturday at Lagos Disco Inferno. Voodoo Funk’s Franc O is back from another shopping trip to Nigeria and he’s got a record bag full of gems for you to groove to.
All the details to these events and more are in your perfect Saturday.
