And the winner is…
1. The 82nd Annual Academy Awards
The Oscars are looong, so you probably won’t require preceremony or postceremony plans. Instead, you just need the perfect spot to eat, drink and shout at a massive TV. Thankfully, we’ve compiled plenty of Oscar parties to choose from, including a Bavarian-themed shindig at Pete’s Candy Store and a viewing on City Winery’s 150-inch projection screen. If none of those options float your boat, consider heading out to Cobble Hill, where the red carpet will be rolled out (literally) at Victorian-styled drinks parlor Clover Club.

See also: TONY’s Oscars hub

Down the rabbit hole
2. Alice in Wonderland
Tim Burton’s vision of Lewis Carroll’s wacky world finally hits the big screen this weekend, with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and Helena Bonham Carter as the massive-headed Red Queen. TONY film critic Keith Uhlich warns us that the goth auteur “is in dispassionate, for-hire mode” for this one (read his two-star review here), so make sure you’re at least getting the full-throttle 3-D experience at the AMC Loews Lincoln Square IMAX (1998 Broadway at 68th St, 212-336-5000). From there, you’ll be well positioned to stroll over to the UWS outpost of Shake Shake (366 Columbus Ave at 77th St; 646-747-8770, shakeshack.com), Danny Meyer’s wildly popular Madison Square Park concession stand.

Read more: The Alice in Wonderland guide to NYC
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Tim Burton is even creepier when the sun goes down.

It’s the first Thursday of the month, and you know what the means—tonight marks the second edition of the Museum of Modern Art’s MoMA Nights (11 W 53rd St between Fifth and Sixth Aves; 212-708-940, moma.org). In case you’ve forgotten, here’s the skinny:

For the regular price of admission, you can wander the museum until 8:45pm and enjoy scheduled gallery tours and film screenings (tonight, catch Anne Aghion’s My Neighbor, My Killer). Check out two of the biggest shows of the moment—”Tim Burton” and “Bauhaus” (note: The museum recommends that timed tickets be purchased online in advance for “Tim Burton”)—and then dance away the workday stress to tunes from guest DJ Alex Pasternak. If you feel like modern art is a dish best served with a glass of chardonnay, head to the cash bar (5–8:30pm) on the second floor. And tonight, should you feel peckish, the museum restaurant is offering a $25 three-course prix-fixe dinner featuring braised short ribs and duck confit.

For your scheduling convenience, here are the remaining 2010 MoMA Nights: March 4, April 1, May 6 and June 3.

Tim Burton is even creepier when the sun goes down.

It happens every year: You make a resolution to get more culture, but the museums are closed after work and it’s tough to fit in an exhibition on the weekend between drunk brunches and “Sunday Funday.” Enter the MoMA Nights at the Museum of Modern Art (11 W 53rd St between Fifth and Sixth Aves; 212-708-940, moma.org), beginning this evening and continuing on the first Thursday of every month through June 2010.

For the regular price of admission, you can wander the museum until 8:45pm and enjoy scheduled gallery tours and film screenings (tonight, catch Anne Aghion’s My Neighbor, My Killer). Check out two of the biggest shows of the moment—Tim Burton and Bauhaus (note: the museum recommends that timed tickets be purchased online in advance for Tim Burton)—and then dance away the workday stress to house, rare soul, Afrobeat and funk spun by Virgina Beach native DJ AJ Slim. If you feel like modern art is a dish best served with a glass of chardonnay, head to the cash bar (5–8:30pm) on the second floor.

For those who didn’t get a calendar from Santa, here are the remaining 2010 MoMA Nights for your scheduling convenience: February 4, March 4, April 1, May 6 and June 3.

The Museum of Modern Art has just announced that, starting January 7th, it will be keeping its doors open until 8:45pm on the first Thursday of every month through June 2010. In addition to gallery tours and regularly scheduled film screenings, there will be DJs and a cash bar featuring a specialty cocktail. Regular admission will still be charged, and the museum recommends that timed tickets be purchased online in advance for Tim Burton.—Emily Bauman

Team America

FRIDAY 20: Sake + rockabilly
Take your love dumpling to Forbidden City, the late-night dim sum spot where dishes like the salt-and-pepper squid pair nicely with an impressive selection of hot and cold sake. Then jive and bop till the wee hours at the Rebel Night Rockabilly Dance Party; revelers are encouraged to don white tees, slick pompadours and polka dots galore. DJs will spin ’50s and ‘60s rock & roll, blues and country, but don’t sweat it if you’re lost when it comes to all that twistin’—short how-tos precede select tunes.

SATURDAY 21: Profanity + burgers
Eff yeah! Celebrate marionettes and freedom at 92Y Tribeca’s Team America: World Police Sing- & Swear-Along. Trey Parker’s 2004 film will be screened with lyrics for each of the movie’s profanity-ridden ditties. A free beer is included with the $13 ticket, which’ll help when you have to croon “Only a Woman” to your lover. Afterward, pen an entirely different ode on the paper tablecloths at The Ear Inn. The bar, housed in an early-19th-century building, doesn’t close until 4am, and you can order a burger or roast as late 1am.

SUNDAY 22: Tim Burton + pop-up eats
“Tim Burton,” the much-anticipated career retrospective on the Jack Skellington–of-all-trades, opens today at the Museum of Modern Art. Cruise the drawings, paintings, props and other film memorabilia from Burton’s personal archives (think never-before-seen student art and unfinished project sketches), then bounce over to the PerkStreet Lounge (a.k.a. the 303Grand pop-up space) for an early Turkey Day. The “Thrifty Thanksgiving” includes booze and festive fall tastings of butternut squash bisque, maple-glazed turkey and pear-and-gingersnap cheesecake—all courtesy of local vendors. R.S.V.P. is required; bring canned goods for a local food pantry.—Shayna Courtney

Although most of us don’t have the spare $25,000 (minimum) for a table at the Tim Burton Film Benefit at MoMA, that sad fact of life doesn’t mean you can’t booze with the bigwigs afterward. You don’t even have to tell them that Large Marge sent ya. All you have to do is fill out our little contest form, win two tickets ($250 value) and then bring your melancholy dancing shoes for the MoMA Film Benefit’s after-party on November 17, which features the sounds of one DJ Justin Miller and celebrates the work of our foremost gothic weirdo auteur. (Extra props if you show up dressed in soft pastels and buck the grim sartorial trend.)