Although most of us don’t have the spare $25,000 (minimum) for a table at the Tim Burton Film Benefit at MoMA, that sad fact of life doesn’t mean you can’t booze with the bigwigs afterward. You don’t even have to tell them that Large Marge sent ya. All you have to do is fill out our little contest form, win two tickets ($250 value) and then bring your melancholy dancing shoes for the MoMA Film Benefit’s after-party on November 17, which features the sounds of one DJ Justin Miller and celebrates the work of our foremost gothic weirdo auteur. (Extra props if you show up dressed in soft pastels and buck the grim sartorial trend.)

Worth the hype?
1. Where the Wild Things Are
Spike Jonze’s indie-scored, hipster-baiting adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s beloved children’s book is finally here, and you know you want to weigh in on whether it lives up to the hype. While you’re at it, why not make a Wild Things–themed Sunday of it? First, head to the Museum of Modern Art (11 W 53rd St between Fifth and Sixth Aves; 212-708-948, moma.org), which has been hosting a retrospective of Jonze’s work. At 2pm there’s a screening of his award-winning music videos and short films, including work with UNKLE, the Notorious B.I.G., Daft Punk and Kanye West. Next, check out original Sendak drawings (including scenes cut from the book) at the Morgan Library & Museum (225 Madison Ave at 36th St; 212-685-000, themorgan.org). Finally, catch a 6:15pm showing of the film at AMC Loews Kips Bay 15 (570 Second Ave between 31st and 32nd Sts, 212-447-9425). A plate of venison nachos and some top-flight pints are waiting just across the street at Waterfront Ale House (540 Second Ave at 30th St, 212-696-4104) when you’re done.

Nothing wrong with a little bump ’n’ grind
2. R. Kelly at WaMu Theater
With no rom-coms in theaters except Couples Retreat, it’s tough to dream up a good date night these days. Enter the Pied Piper of R&B, whose “Ladies Make Some Noise” tour is sure to add some raunch to our otherwise dull and sexless lives. Before the Friday-night show, take that special someone to the nearby Burgers and Cupcakes (458 Ninth Ave between 35th and 36th Sts; 212-643-1200, burgersandcupcakes.us)—chances are one of them is the way to your date’s heart. As for postshow activities, just follow the R’s commandments: “After the show it’s the after-party”—think Speedo-clad waiters and painted women giving massages at the Pink Party—“and after the party it’s the hotel lobby” (drinks at Cabana or Hiro in the Maritime Hotel). Whether or not you have money left over for the requisite bottle of post-hotel-lobby Cristal is the night’s big question mark. And needless to say, either one of those post-how moves alone should be sufficient for your partying needs.

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So you haven’t yet seen All About Eve—and that’s fine, because you’re going to rectify that situation at 4pm today at MoMA. But even if you have supped on this sharpest of backstage dramas, it’s worth checking out again. For the sake of originality, let’s tip our hat not to the superbitchy Bette Davis (”Fasten your seat bealts, it’s going to be a bumpy night,” etc.), but to George Sanders as the razor-sharp theater critic, Addison DeWitt. He’s the character you might actually be quoting more.

Photographs by Jolie Ruben

Growing up, most of us had a spot in our parents’ house where our height was periodically recorded on the wall. Some of us—like 7′6″ Shawn Bradley (the second pick in the 1993 NBA draft)—probably took up more vertical real estate. His dad, I’m sure, needed a step ladder or perhaps stilts to measure and mark off young Shawn’s progress with a piece of chalk. Most of our folks probably didn’t have that problem, though.

Beginning yesterday, Slovak performance artist Roman Ondák has taken this suburban ritual and blasted it all over a room on the second floor at MoMA. Museum passersby are asked by one of two exhibition attendants if they’d like to have their height measured. Guests are then sized up, and their names are written on the wall next to the mark. “I was sort of inspired by this very simple situation, some years back, when I measured my son when he was young and growing, and wanted to expand it to a public event,” the artist tells us. “It will just probably end in a totally black rainbow or sort of network of names.”

The walls were already filling up, mere hours after it had opened. The variety of names on the wall is fascinating. My own was under G, Jean-Charles and Spyros, but over Mariah, Franziska and Namkyoung. I can’t help feeling that if we all started a band, it would melt faces on all seven continents. The work is typical in that Ondák doesn’t take a direct hand in the exhibits execution and not doing the measuring himself.

“In this way, the guards substitute my role as the artist,” he expalins. “I’m trying to define the form which would get closer to those I’m trying to distribute this to. I’m very interested in collaborating with people. I’m sure there are a lot of people who have done this with their children. This is the loop I’m interested in—returning this back to real situation. That these people would see this here, but feel that they are back in their apartment.”

Lecturing has become a game. MoMA is now hosting an artist PowerPoint talk series called “5 x 20 x 20″ in the Pecha Kucha style. Every session features five artists in the collection, each presenting a 20-slide PowerPoint presentation of his or her work, 20 seconds per slide.

Pecha Kucha literally translates to “the noise of chatter.” Typically it’s used as a platform for further discussion and socializing, paired with drinking. The event would be well lubricated after a round or two of beers, but on the other hand, that would dull the intensity of being in a packed room, watching someone wish away eight seconds of unplanned silence.

The time constraints neuter the preciousness and idle rambling of the Artist Talk, and the result is a refreshing set of six-minute-long lectures. According to the artists who participated last Thursday (a motley crew of Christian Holstad, Julian Hoeber, Dannielle Tegeder, Elizabeth Simonson, Kim Jones and Dana Schutz), Pecha Kucha is a stressful “game” to participate in. The most common problem among participants was timing—over- and underestimation of how long to show a single slide. Holstad, the first to go, floundered his first three slides while mindlessly balancing a pumpernickel bagel on the podium.

“5 x 20 x 20″ will take place every Monday and Thursday until May 21. Next date: May 18 at 12:30pm with Kurt Kauper, Tamara Gayer, Rachel Selekman, Dave Muller, Gerry Hayes and Randall Sellers. Tickets are $5.—K-Fai Steele

Star Trek

Film
Star Trek
J.J. Abrams’s five-star rendition of this cult-classic franchise will captivate Trekkies and casual fans alike.

New bar
675 Bar
There’s no door policy at this more casual Meatpacking bar. Try a selection of international wines curated by master sommelier Laura Maniec, and cocktails—like the mescal-and-harissa-based Algerian Typist, while playing foosball.

Dating
“Dating by the Numbers”
Finding a date in NYC isn’t always a problem, but getting to that second date can be. Catch David Ezell’s discussion about the common do’s and don’ts to dating, and chat someone up at the bar while you’re there.

Comedy
It Is It
See rising stand-up acts for free at Pianos. Daily Show staffer Adam Lowitt invites his fellow comics and friends to the stage.

Music
Crystal Antlers + Ribbons + Radical Dads
Long Beach, California’s Crystal Antlers’ explorative songs skillfully invent a kind of Frankenstein’s monster of dissonant garage psychedelia, implanted with a soulful spine. And they’re, what, the second-best band with Crystal in its name playing right now? That’s pretty impressive!

You heard us right: We’re giving away two primo tickets to the Armory Show preview at the Piers on Wednesday 4, followed by a kick-ass benefit party for MoMA and P.S.1, featuring Gang Gang Dance and a DJ set by DFA’s Justin Miller. Tickets start at $100, but all you gotta do to win ours is e-mail a photo of your best napkin drawing to ownthiscity@timeoutny.com. Yup, it’s that easy. For more info on Armory and its gazillion satellite fairs (including Bridge, Pulse, Fountain, VOLTA, Scope and more), we got your hookup right here.