Last Friday, Porno Jim (of the Porno Jim Show) and a gaggle of burlesque dancers transformed Bushwick’s House of Yes into the “House of Sexy”—here’s what we learned throughout the course of the porntastic evening:
* Two reasons Porno Jim is a genius: (1) He’s turned a lifelong love of sex flicks into an engrossing (and often gross, e.g. gargling of bodily fluids) clips showcase, which generates enthusiastic cheers all over the place; (2) Dude knows how to rock a mismatched pinstripe suit with a horizontally striped tie.
* Edward Penishands stars a Johnny Depp doppelgänger, but even he couldn’t keep our gag reflex at bay.
* One may think they know every possible combination of two guys and one girl, but they would be wrong.
* Body paint, if applied correctly, can make the buttocks appear as if a cheetah is giving a man a blow job.
* The largest penis we’ve ever attempted to imagine still doesn’t match the honkin’ schlong on Mandingo. Wowzers.
* The earliest adult film screened by Porno Jim was an animated ditty from the 1920s, which featured a penis sword fight and some old-fashioned bestiality.
*Stick-on jewels can bedazzle any genitalia—just ask the World Famous *BOB*, pictured above.—Shayna Courtney
