Costumers at last year's parade.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29
You don’t have to be a frat dude or sorority dudette to enjoy the inexplicable and goofy antics featured on the popular CollegeHumor website. (A deep-seated love for beer pong and Bud Light, though, is a whole other thing.) Don’t believe us? Take your sweetie pie to CollegeHumor Live, where the hosts tend to dabble in everything from pie to puppets. Before the show, stop into F&B Güdtfood for dogs and fries done better than your college self could’ve imagined.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 30
The House of Yes is a tucked-away venue that deals in the quintessentially quirky: how-to classes, burlesque performances and acrobatic acts give a shout-out to pretty much every interest under the sun. Just in time for Halloween, the Haunted House of Yes is doing it big, as usual. Performances, installation and video artists, musicians and comedians are all part of the demented, no-holds-barred haunted house experience that’s so crazy, the folks at the door are asking for signed waivers. Gulp. If you and your beau experience sensory overload, skip out early and walk to Life Café Nine 83 where the kitchen is open until 1am and the atmosphere should be a little more soothing.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31
Catch the 36th annual Village Halloween Parade on Sixth Avenue from Spring to 21st Sts. Don your best Bert and Ernie or Barack and Michelle getups, and you and yours can hop into the action and join the parade! The procession of bands, dancers, puppets and other costumed New Yorkers begins at 7pm. Next, the Rescue! Zombie Invasion Dance Party at Sapphire Lounge promises all zombied-out attendees can “dance ’til your dead.” Hey, we’d throw correct grammar to the wind in a zombie invasion, too.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1
Halloween may have passed, but fret not, ghoul-loving twosome, there are still frightening options for today—like the Gotham City Ghost Tour, which includes stops at some haunted sites in Greenwich Village (the Edgar Allan Poe house, the burial ground at Washington Square, the cemetery at St. Mark’s church and more). When you’re nice and spooked, head to the Village’s renovated and reopened Minetta Tavern. Reservations are recommended so plan ahead—the Black Label burger is worth it.—Shayna Courtney

Making your own Halloween costume is pretty cool, but is it worth the effort? The question looming over any exertion of effort seems particularly pressing when one considers the realities of cutting fabrics, finding accessories and locating sewing machines. But what if we told you there’s a place you can go that has all of these things on hand, along with on-site experts to help your creation reach its full potential? We think you might change your tune. “Yes we can!” you might say. “Impossible is nothing!”

Tonight from 7 to 11pm, Make Fun Studios at the House of Yes (342 Maujer St between Morgan Ave and Waterbury St, Williamsburg, Brooklyn) hosts a workshop that will fulfill all your DIY Halloween needs. For $20, you’ll get access to all of the studio’s machinery, as well as pattern-making materials and free fabric and trim. Costume-making pros Kae Burke and Tara McManus will be on hand with tips and $5 bins of costume bits and wigs to spruce up your work. And if the process still feels overwhelming when you get there–or your Lady Gaga–style face mask goes horribly wrong—you can still shop for commercial costumes and original designs by Burke and 3rd Earth Designs.

Just remember: When you take your costume back to your apartment, take a good look around and be thankful you didn’t try this at home.

*Stick-on jewels can bedazzle any genitalia—just ask the World Famous *BOB*, pictured above.—Shayna Courtney

Open mikes can be hit or miss. Anyone can speak and there’s no danger in giving it a go (save for a few boos), meaning you’ll probably be subjected to someone who’s better off keeping quiet. This is not a problem, however, if you attend an aerial open mike. Everyone can attempt to pull off midair stunts, but the whole hitting the floor thing tends to put off the rank amateur.

That’s why tonight’s Maritime Madness Aerial Open Mic at the House of Yes should be a doozy. Skybox is curating the performance of 15 acts, which starts at 8:30pm and costs a mere $10. It promises aquatic delights, giving new meaning to the term skydiving (get it?).

Hang around after the show for the 10pm Not Waving but Drowning gig with swoonworthy tales of loneliness and love set to old-timey Hawaiian swing sounds courtesy of the Moonlighters.

On Wednesday night, a trio of whip-smart New York ladies hosted the first-ever This Ain’t Your High School Sex Ed Class at Bushwick’s freaky-deaky House of Yes. It was targeted at men, but reporter Sophie Gore Browne attended the session, which included X-rated live role-playing on the do’s and don’ts of flirting, oral sex, anal sex, rough sex and more—all courtesy of a Jenna Jameson love doll. After class let out, Browne asked select guys what they’d learned. Read more »

Cuddle Magic at Pete's Candy Store

Is it just us, or has it been one of those weeks? You need a hug, don’t you? So do we. The sonic kind. We suggest you drag your weary self to the House of Yes tonight for the musical equivalent of a warm embrace: Cuddle Magic (the large ensemble includes a three-foot-tall plastic penguin) plays delicate, multilayered, soothing music with strings, percussion, vibraphone, trumpet, clarinet, keyboards, guitars and sweet vocal harmonies. It’s as nice as it sounds, and the $10–$15 suggested donation will probably be asked for very politely indeed.

Tonight, Cuddle Magic—and doesn’t the band name make you feel better already?—is joined by dancers Emily Vetsch and Fayth Caruso and artist Laura Steele, who will project live visuals to create a fertile landscape.

Image via Cuddle Magic’s MySpace page.

Photograph: Justin Aubuchan

Got a pile of bits and bobs you can’t throw away but have no use for? Turn them into hobotech gear (pictured) during the hobotech  costume night at the House of Yes (8pm–midnight, $10). “Steampunk is about making a coal-powered computer,” says Hobotech DJ Jon Margulies. “Hobotech is about using an old laptop as a hammer.”

In preparation for this Saturday’s huge hobotech party, “hobotech-style engineer” Tara McManus and fellow trendsetters will assist your DIY prowess in designing and putting together a unique costume using hobo conductor hats, bindles, military jackets, suspenders—not to mention broken low-tech materials like LEDs, mesh, fiber optics, El Wire, tubing and old circuit boards.

A movement that grew out of Burning Man neotribalism, hobotech redefines the hobo in the Internet age, when it is not unusual for someone living out of their backpack to also be carrying a computer. “You can lean more toward the hobo way of life or the tech-savvy end of it, but it all boils down to utilitarianism and being transient,” says McManus. “I love seeing how people interpret it. At our last event someone came dressed as a ‘hobo-robot,’ complete with coin slot so he could dance for nickels.” Ah, the wonders of technology.—Sophie Gore Browne