Photographs by Michael Alexander
Text by Alexis Tirado
Forget the premiere of Star Trek. This year’s big Hollywood-meets-geeks event was the Webby Awards. Seth Meyers made the crowd LOL with his zingers (”Ashton Kutcher is not here. I just wish there was a way to know what he was doing.”), and nebbishy winner Dick Buschman even proposed to his girlfriend on stage! In true Webby fashion, every speech was five words or fewer.
The Onion: “Free all attractive political prisoners.”
The Boston Globe: “It’s not journalism that’s dying.”
The Economist: “Read a fucking newspaper.”
Sarah Silverman: “Holocaust. Did it happen? Yes.”
Arianna Huffington: “I didn’t kill newspapers, okay?”
Trent Reznor: “Wait, we didn’t charge anything?
Victoria’s Secret models: “Victoria’s Secret. Sexy lingerie. Yeah.”
Seth MacFarlane: “What is this for again?”
But the best speech of the night came from Jimmy Fallon: “Thank God Conan got promoted.”
For your I’m-bored-at-work pleasure, TONY hit the red carpet to find out what celebs (Isabella Rossellini, Lisa Kudrow, Rachel Zoe) do on the World Wide Interwebs.
Todd Barry, comedian
Which celebrity do you love stalking online? I don’t do celebrity stalking via Google—it’s too traceable.
What’s the most annoying thing about the Internet? Why can’t I have more than 5,000 Facebook friends? I don’t understand that.
Other than porn, what do you like to google? I really like to find restaurants with the best side dishes in New York.
Really? No, I just gave you a fake answer.
You can’t do that! Well, of course I look at my own name…but my first answer is funnier.
Isabella Rossellini, actress and winner of Best Individual Performance for Green Porno
Which celebrity do you love stalking online? You know, I don’t have the fixation about celebrities. I was born from famous parents [actor Ingrid Bergman and Italian director Roberto Rossellini]; I cannot be part of that culture.
What’s the most annoying thing about the Internet? The e-mails! A lot of e-mails!
What do you like to google? When I travel, I like to read the news. The New York Times. Sometimes I check information but I’m never 100 percent sure that it is accurate.
Sarah Silverman, comedian and winner of Best Actress for the “I’m F*$&ing Matt Damon” video and The Great Schlep
Which celebrity do you love stalking online? There are funny comics on Twitter that I like. [Rob] Corddry.
What’s the most annoying thing about the Internet? Are you kidding me?!? The Internet is fucking amazing! I grew up with a typewriter! I used typewriters. Remember when it was exciting when you could press the x and it would erase the letter before? [The Internet,] it’s fucking magic!
Other than porn, what do you like to google? Well, I don’t google porn. I know exactly where I go for my porn. I don’t randomly google tits and penis to see what comes up. I know exactly where I’m going.
So what do you google then? The Howard Stern home page.
Seth Meyers, comedian, Saturday Night Live head writer and host of the 13th Annual Webby Awards
Other than porn, what do you like to google? Ugh, the porn! I wish you hadn’t put it in my head. I google high-school ex-girlfriends.
Which celebrity do you love stalking online? I don’t stalk anybody online—although [saying that] takes the air out of my previous answer.
Isn’t there one celebrity you stalk? Don’t you want to see what the Jonas Brothers are doing? No!
How often do you google yourself? Uh, rarely.
Like, quarterly? I’m considering all my answers to you. I’m not giving you follow-up answers.
Fine! Last question: What’s the most annoying thing about the Internet? Marriage proposals? People who overupdate their status.
On Twitter? Or Facebook. Anywhere.
What’s the standard? Once per day? Something that you would call at least one person about. You make one phone call about it, you’re allowed to update your status. But you never call anyone to talk about your Cheerios.
Lisa Kudrow, actress and winner of Outstanding Comedic Performance for lstudio.com’s “Web Therapy”
What’s the most annoying thing about the Internet? Getting it to do what I want. I’m the only person who clicks to open up a Word document and it doesn’t work. Or someone says, “Go to this site!” Oh, okay…and I get the spinning pinwheel. There’s something scary [about the Internet] because you have no idea who you’re communicating with.
What do you like to google? It’s a little embarrassing but historical facts.
Do you trust Wikipedia? I heard that you really can! Yeah! Someone did a study.
Rachel Zoe, stylist and reality TV star
What’s the most annoying thing about the Internet? When it freezes! Or when it doesn’t go through. You’re sending an e-mail and it does that weird clock thing. And I’m like, “Send! Send!”
What do you like to google? Everything from “I’ve had a headache for the three days. What’s wrong with me?” to travel.
Which celebrity do you love stalking online? Me, Demi and Ashton kinda follow each other [on Twitter]. We’re friends. We have fun.
Arianna Huffington, blogger and winner of Best Politics and People’s Voice Winner for Best Political Blog
What’s the most annoying thing about the Internet? The most annoying thing is people hiding on the Internet. Making vile comments without having the guts to put their name on it.
What do you like to google? Depends on what I’m writing about. Like right now, I’m writing about the economic crisis. So I’m googling the latest news on the economy. I trust The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, The Financial Times. But also little blogs like Calculated Risk. They are great small sites that do wonderful economic reporting.
Which celebrity do you love stalking online? Cory Booker is great, the mayor of Newark. Really good to follow on Twitter. You know what’s great about him?
He’s badass! Yes. He also has great little sayings that he sends around. They’re very inspirational.
Trent Reznor, musician and winner of Webby Artist of the Year award
I have fun, easy-breezy questions for you! I am only going to have serious, bummer answers for you.
What’s the most annoying thing about the Internet? Every single person on it. Especially my Twitter followers. [Laughs] While on tour, every hotel has the slowest Internet in the world, including the bus that we’re on. That’s a bummer. But in general, the anonymous nature of the Internet. People think because they can say something, anyone gives a shit about what you have to say. The empowerment it gives the person that’s hiding behind a pseudonym, to speak out on something they’ll never say in real life. That gets on my nerves. I’m the guy that reads everything because I want to know what people think. If I’m really going to do this, I really going to be in your head.
So you read all your Twitter comments? Well, I started to and people realized I read them. They realized they had a way to start throwing darts at me. There comes a point, for my own mental health, that I’m going to have to stop doing that. There is no way to block those people out, especially on Twitter.
What do you like to google? Nine Inch Nail sites? Nothing about myself. Weird Japanese things. Toys. Old videos games. Nerdy stuff.
Which celebrity do you love stalking online? I’ve become better friends with [singer] Amanda Palmer. We toured together. Seeing what she has to say, I realized we’re much more kindred souls. We hung out the other night.
