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We have a dirty little secret at TONY: A number of us obsess over Twilight, the movie and book series that sucks (your blood). So we headed to the Time Warner Center to join 70 others to audition to be a reporter for ReelzChannel at TwiCon, a three-day, $300 coming together of Twilight fans in Dallas this summer. How could we pass up a chance—for an extra fee, natch—to touch the expertly coiffed head of vampire heartthrob Edward?

As one of only three males at the audition (the first turned up three hours early to snag a space at the front of the queue), our knowledge of Twilight trivia was coming up short against people like Julie from Rochester, New York, who had seen the film more than 100 times and had traveled for more than eight hours to try out. Posing as a “reporter,” we gamed the system and found out the juiciest tidbits from fellow Twilight fans (suckers!). Did it work? How did we do? See for yourself after the jump.