As you might know, if you google "Palin Biden ‘drinking game,’" you’ll get 18,300 results. To save you from scrolling through a sea of half-witted comments and emoticons in order to come up with a contrived way to get drunk with your friends and yell at the TV tonight, here’s an amalagam of the best drinking-game rules we found on the Internets, plus a few of our own sprinkled in. We’ll leave the kind of booze you use up to the friends and barkeeps who have to clean up after you. If you want something a little more official, there are debate bingo cards here and here that you can download and take with you to the party at Monkey Town.

For Palin, everyone drinks:

When someone in your party blurts out "WTF is she talking about?"

When she leaves the g off progressive verbs or gerunds, e.g., "takin’," "leavin’," "changin’"

When she refers to Joe Biden as "Joe" or "Joey."

Every time she says "mustn’t," "maverick," "hockey mom," "Putin’s head," "pitbull," "lipstick," "thanks but no thanks" or "I’ll have to get back to you on that."

Everyone chugs whatever they have in their hand if Palin:

Wears her hair over her ears, brings up any of her offspring or vomits.

For Biden, everyone drinks:

When he chuckles while Palin is talking.

When he mentions taking the train.

When he refers to Senator McCain as "John."

Every time he says, "Scranton" "Wall Street," "main street," "malarkey" or "Geraldine Ferraro," or refers to himself in the third person, or anyone else as his "good friend."

Everyone chugs whatever they have in their hand if Biden:

Pats Sarah Palin on head at the beginning or end of the debate, or compliments moderator Gwen Ifill on her outfit.

SEE RELATED: Last-minute Debate Strategies for Sarah Palin