We know, these babes were pointing at you, and they made you want to attend the Union Square water gun fight oh so badly tomorrow (Saturday 23). However, we heard over the week—from the Street Wars publicist Margarita Sophia Cortes—that it was off, then on, then off, after the Parks Department applied heavy pressure (think Super Soaker Max-D 6000 kind of pressure) when they saw our beautiful cover.

Here’s what Franz Aliquo (a.k.a. the Supreme Commander) had to say:

I know some of you were looking forward to joining me in drenching Union Square this weekend.

Alas, apparently "the Man" still runs this city and has put the kibosh on the flashmob. Due to pressure from the Parks Dept. and the fact that I would like to avoid spending time face down and ass up in jail, we have had to pull out of the water gun fight like it was coitus interruptus. I ask that you do the same.

The good news is that this will give me a chance to do some actual coitus interrupting…and I suggest you do the same. I speak from experience when I say it is significantly more interesting than jail rape.

We apologize to our TONY readers that are still cocked and loaded and left feeling unsatisfied. We swear, this never happens to us, baby. But you have to ask yourself: Can we take a guy by the name of Supreme Commander seriously? Is it really canceled or is it just one big penis joke? All we know is that we’re going to be there at 3pm to find out for ourselves.