As of midnight Sunday morning, the Writers Guild of America is on strike—giant inflatable rat and all. At 9am this morning, members of WGA East began picketing outside of NBC Universal in Rockefeller Center. We hopped inside the barricaded gates to chat with several comedy writers, who, in between sporadic bouts of chanting, shook hands and exchanged hugs with old friends from the world of late-night-TV. Although they’re all serious about their demands (see first half of report), they still can’t help but be funny (see second half).

“What do we want? Contracts! When do we want ’em? Now!”

“It sucks, but we all feel it’s necessary. We’re shell-shocked and confused. We thought it was a reasonable deal and are bewildered that the studios let it get to this.”—Tim Carvell, writer, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

“Everyone wants to work; there’s nothing we want more than for SNL to go up on Saturday, but people are going to realize that the shows they love, with the popular faces in front, have talented people behind them.”—Amy Poehler, performer, Saturday Night Live

“Since our last deal, DVDs have been introduced and the Internet came along. Anyone can understand that an agreement that’s three generations old should be upgraded. These things aren’t done lightly or out of spite.”—Kevin Dorff, writer, Late Night with Conan O’Brien

“It’s hopefully a short-term sacrifice for a long-term goal.” —Joe Grossman, writer, Late Show with David Letterman (and former TONY Comedy editor)

“It’s pretty obvious that the way people consume jokes is going to change dramatically in the next 20 years. Rationally, if we didn’t do this now, there’d be no point in having a union.”—Simon Rich, 22, joined the writing staff of SNL (and the guild) a few weeks ago

“People are resigned that this is what has to be done until it gets fair.” —Alan Zweibel, 57, writer on the first season of SNL, now writes film scripts

“Bottom line: Everyone is sacrificing money. We’re all losing money. And I think it’s definitely worth it.”—Dan Dratch, writer, Monk

“Turnout is good.”—Steve Bodow, head writer, TDS

“For a bunch of people who sit on their asses all day, everyone motivated. It’s probably more sunlight than people have gotten in a while.”—Bodow

“It’s very positive—not fun, per se—but it is a bit like a family reunion. I saw a lot of these people at ASSSSCAT last night and we were like, ‘See you tomorrow morning.’ ”—Peter Gwinn, writer, The Colbert Report

“A cop said we were the worst rallyers he’d ever seen. It’s because naturally writers don’t want attention. What we need is more Screen Actors Guild members here.”—Savannah Dooley, who has a pilot stalled with CBS

How long will it last?

“Hoping for two weeks prepared for six months.”—Gwinn

“Until they really get serious about the money they’re making off new media.”—Poehler

“It will go until they take us seriously.”—Zweibel

So what are people writing?

“None of us is sending any funny texts or e-mails.”—Poehler

“I didn’t even write the words on my sign.”—Rich

“Not even grocery lists—I did all of my lists before midnight last night.”—Gwinn

Anyone having hot strike sex?

“No, but I did meet a nice girl in line—and I don’t need to ask her what she does for a living.”—Ben Gruber, writer, Monk

Finding the funny

Gruber’s sign is missing its placard. Instead,  “Not even a sign” has been written on the tip of the cardboard cylinder. “I didn’t write that joke,” he’s quick to say. “But the studios are already making a movie out of it; they’re hoping to get a whole miniseries.”

A trio of horn players shows up unexpectedly, to show its support through music, and breaks into “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” I ask, “Does this mean God is backing the guild?” TDS correspondent John Oliver, who just joined the guild recently, responds, “Yeah, Jesus was a writer too, of course. One of the best-selling books of all time was Jesus’—and I don’t think he’s getting residuals."

Later, while the horns blow on, Colbert writer Peter Grosz improvises lyrics: “Two percent on DVDs is way too small!” while a compatriot choreographs adjoining moves.

So, they can still tell jokes, they just have to have journalists write them down instead?

“Yeah, we’re now writing for The New York Times,” responds TDS writer Jason Ross. Adds his cowriter J.R. Havlan, “Right: It’s dictated, not scabbed.”

J.R. has brought his dog, a black mixed breed named Charlotte; she’s wearing one of those ubiquitous black T-shirts with “writer” printed on it. Rob Kutner, who also writes for Jon Stewart, says, “Charlotte is really angry at the producers.” Everyone laughs. “There’s a dog wearing a business suit standing by a window in 30 Rock angrily barking down,”  quips another TDS writer, Kevin Bleyer. “That’s it!” shouts Havlan. “That’s the joke I was looking for earlier!”

Not every bit is deemed as funny, though. One sign leaning against the corrall reads, “On Stri”—the last letter dribbles off the page as if the person literally stopped writing in the middle of creating the poster. This is way more creative than most picket lines get. But those who traffic in words and ideas also have high standards. One latecomer reached for the sign when he arrived but then put it back down, saying, “No way am I carrying that.”