Hitting up a drive-in theater may not be a feasible option in Manhattan, but tonight at Arlo & Esme(42 E 1st St between First and Second Aves, 212-777-5617), you can still enjoy car and film culture without riding your own steel horse. Cine Meccanica is hosting the second in its monthlong series of Tuesday night screenings that highlight automobile-themed flicks. At 8pm, catch John Carpenter’s 1983 adaptation of Stephen King’s Christine, which features a pretty sweet 1958 Plymouth Fury. Show up at 7pm for cocktails with like-minded cinephiles/car buffs/loiterers—you’ll have to pay for the booze, but the movie (and the popcorn!) is free.
Sex & Dating Sweet Nothings Striptease Find a valentine who also appreciates the female form at this burlesque-performance-cum-singles-mixer.
Gay Dykes on Mics
Amy Beckerman and Leah Dubie present another installment of their biweekly comedy show, with Jamie Lee, Cara Kilduff, RG Daniels and Gloria Bigelow.
Theater Venus in Fur
This David Ives stage adaptation of an erotic-lit classic is not only smart and funny, it features the dynamite debut of goofball seductress Nina Arianda.
Music A Celebration of the Life of Joe Maneri
One of the most poignant jazz saxophonists ever is feted at the Irondale Center by his violist son, Mat, as well as improv heavyweights such as Barre Phillips and Joe McPhee.
Clubs King Cannibal
The Ninja Tune beatsmith makes his Gotham debut at Santos.
Own This City Secret Science Club
Molecular Biologist Gregory Hannon will lecture on his pioneering work in the field of RNA interference. Don’t ask us to explain, but get there early to bag a seat.
Books Padgett Powell
The strange and accessible author discusses The Interrogative Mood, a book made up entirely of questions.
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Photographs by Devin Elijah
Evidently, there was some sort of sporting event on television that a lot of New Yorkers were watching yesterday. Weird! But in Brooklyn it was business as usual, as “queer fat femme” Bevin Branlandingham presented an installment of her Cupcake Cabaret, this time celebrating the “radical act of self-love.” Attractions at the semiregular performance party included Glenn Marla, Sequinette and Vagina Jenkins—not to mention cupcakes and beer! Who needs a bunch of jocks pummeling each other when you’ve got all that?
TUESDAY 9
The free, car-themed Cine Meccanica screenings (with free popcorn!) continue at Arlo & Esme with John Carpenter’s Stephen King adaptation, Christine (8pm, free).
THURSDAY 11 Who has time for the greatest love story ever told? Not New Yorkers, so catch Annie’s Shakespeare Shakedown of Romeo and Juliet (7–11pm, $10), and let the best bits of the play unfold around you as you party at China 1 Antique Lounge.
FRIDAY 12
Art collective The Blood Dumpster gets all soppy with the Dumpster of Love (9pm, free) at t.b.d. bar with music, art and raffle prizes.
SATURDAY 13
For kinky, cerebral couples, explore The Met’s steamy bods with Art Master’s Tours‘ Sex, Love and Symbolism: Couples in the History of Art (5–6pm, $30, advance $25, advance couples’ tickets $40).
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Tuesday 9
Burlesque dancers Miss Em, Agent N and others will toss tassels at Sweet Nothings Striptease, a performance and mixer at Public Assembly.
Padgett Powell reads from and discusses his novel The Interrogative Mood, an eccentric and readable novel composed entirely of questions. The specific queries themselves are by turns hilarious and mysterious (question: Who’s asking the questions?). More broadly, this stylish book explores the possibilities of prose—and the possibilities of life itself.
Los Angeles label TenOverSix’s pop-up shop at Future Perfect is bringing a taste of Cali to New Yawk through April 15.
Friday 12
Erik Gandini’s doc Videocracy shines a light on how Italy’s celebrity obsession has warped its populace.
Saturday 13
Spend Valentine’s Eve in a Russian bath, surrounded by half-naked dancing hotties, during Gemini & Scorpio’s annual Steamy Bath Party.
Sunday 14
The World Famous *BOB* hosts Filthy Gorgeous: Valentine Burlesque Brunch, a naughty little show starring Jo Boobs, Ms. Tickle, Nasty Canasta, Tigger, Little Miss Lixx and many more.
Clubs Discothèque
Chez Music master Neil Aline and his guests will be busy spinning house sounds every week downstairs at Santos.
Dance Movement Research at the Judson Church
Movement Research continues its Monday-night series with Jesse Phillips-Fein, Nohemi Montzerrat Contreras and Saul Ulerio.
Music Them Crooked Vultures
The supergroup of Stone Age Queen Josh Homme, Foo Fighter Dave Grohl and Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones brings ballsy, infectious rock back to NYC.
It’s your perfect Super Bowl Sunday today with Super Bowl XLIV kickoff at Brooklyn Bowl and the School of Sex’s new swinger party More to Love: Super Bowl party (yes, you can get busy and watch the Super Bowl).
Alternately, today could also be your perfect get-me-the-hell-away-from-this-moronic-game Sunday at the start of the Museum of the City of New York’s Chinese New Year celebrations with Jennifer 8. Lee. And who cares about the sports stars on the field when you see the lineup of DJs and performers at the Dance Marathon for Haiti Relief.
Then there’s also the stand-up of Donnell Rawlings, the nerdcore musical stylings of MC Frontalot and the tasty treats at Cupcake Cabaret. Totally advert free, it’s your perfect Sunday.
Books Melissa Broder
Broder’s Polestar Poetry Series welcomes, er, the poet herself to read from her new book of obsessive, energetic and pop-culture-infused poetry, When You Say One Thing but Mean Your Mother.
Classical Gail Archer
Leading female organist Archer continues her Bach tour across the city with a goodie bag of best-ofs for the composer’s 325th birthday.
If you’re looking to purchase something a bit different this weekend, check out the Outsider Art Fair. Organizer of the 18th annual art fair, Sanford Smith, explains how every work of art there “comes with a story.”
As you may have read in TONY, hilarious Parks and Recreation costar Aziz Ansari plays Comix this weekend in celebration of his new stand-up special (see above). If you haven’t made it out yet, you can still catch one of two sets tonight—both are sold out, but there’s always a way. As an enticement, here are five highlights from last night’s 8pm performance:
1. Celebrity audience participation. Seated near me was the alt-pop supercouple of Le Tigre’s JD Samson and eccentric Aussie belter Sia, and when Ansari asked for suggestions re: where his airhead alter-ego Raaaaaaaandy ought to stage his next public sex act, Sia volunteered, “Lilith Fair.” What ensued was probably the only Raaaaaaaandy monologue to ever include an utterance of “Ani DiFrancoooooooo!”
2. A discourse on Wikipedia’s list of ethnic slurs. Ansari gamely printed out the entire batch and shared his favorites, prefacing the bit with a disclaimer: “This is just an intellectual exercise, so if you’re offended… shut the fuck up!”
3. A check-in with cousin Harris. No Ansari set would be complete without a discussion of his nerdy cousins, Harris and Darwish. The comedian shared his bafflement at a recent status update on Harris’s Facebook page: “Life is a dirty game, u need to play dirty to win.”
4. 50 Cent vs. citrus fruit. According to Ansari—who has apparently broken bread with 50 Cent—the rap star expressed utter confusion when confronted with a grapefruit soda he had ordered. “Why isn’t it purple?” he inquired angrily.
5. Strong opening sets from Joe Mande and Kristen Schaal. The former shared a mindblowing account of a Vassar student-activities director who threw him for a loop by requesting that he not perform any aggressively homophobic material during a recent appearance at the college, and the latter shared her newly devised porn-star name (favorite drink + biggest insecurity): Chardonnay Mathematics.
Follow your perfect Saturday down the rabbit hole to Alice in Wonderland Draw-a-Thon Theater to sketch “nude maniac” models retelling Lewis Carroll’s iconic fantasy.
If you prefer an activity where all the participants wear clothes, and lots of them, bundle up and head to Winter Jam in Central Park for free fun in the snow (real or artificial, depending on the weather). To warm up after being exposed to the elements, try a traditional Japanese makanai ryori feast at EN Japanese Brasserie.
Need some music to polish off your day? Get down at the Target First Saturdays Mardi Gras party with a performance by Haitian band DJA-Rara, or check out the U.S. debut of supergroup the Moritz von Oswald Trio at the Unsound Festival.
Don’t pop the blue pill or the red pill, take your perfect Saturday and do not operate heavy machinery (because it’s your day off).
Art “Waterpod: Autonomy and Ecology” Exit Art’s exhibit chronicles the roving art exhibit/environmentally focused space/science experiment that traveled around New York for five months in 2009.
Music Groupshow: Andy Warhol’s Empire
As part of the Unsound Festival, a German trio of Jan Jelinek, Andrew Pekler and Hanno Leichtmann offers live, improvised accompaniment to Andy Warhol’s eight-hour film of the Empire State Building. (You’re welcome to come and go as you please.)
Clubs Get Your Dance On
This regular affair at Williamsburg’s Brooklyn Bowl gets the weekend started via the funk-fueled sounds of DJ Dhundee and other local notables.
I have a theory: If you are a person who is attracted to men, and you are between the ages of 24 and 40, you are probably nursing a huge crush on Paul Rudd. It is likely that this crush is the byproduct of the movie Clueless, in which he played the snarky-but-sweet stepbrother, Josh (even if it was a little creepy that his character fell for his 16-year-old former stepsister), who listened to Radiohead, wore flannel and danced dorkily. Or maybe because he’s really funny, as evinced in films like Anchorman, Wet Hot American Summer and I Love You, Man. Or, you know, because he’s just really attractive. Whatever.
Brooklyn’s got beer. Manhattan’s got jazz. But if you want both at the same time, you’re going to have to head to Queens. The beloved brew haven Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden (29-19 24th Ave at 29th St, Astoria, Queens; 718-274-4925, bohemianhall.com) has been hosting live jazz every Friday night (8pm, no cover) in its downstairs dining room, and if you happen to show up early (5–8pm), you can score selected pitchers at $10 a pop.
Taking the stage tonight will be electric jazz quartet Moth to Flame, whose mellow funk brings together elements of Chick Corea and Steely Dan. Check out its instrumental take on “Do It Again”—these synth-tastic tones are sure to put you at ease. Live music at this venue is not a first; open mics happen every Wednesday, and come summer the garden is host to two weekly evening serenades. But beer and jazz on a cold winter’s night? That might be one thing worth the chilly trek.
I watch it for the commercials! 1. Super Bowl Sunday
Are you ready for some football?! Let’s try that again: Are you ready to eat gluttonously and down beers out a vague sense of patriotism? That’s better. Fortunately for you, we’ve compiled more Super Bowl parties than you can shake a chicken wing at. Before heading to your shindig of choice, swing by The Red Cat(227 Tenth Ave between 23rd and 24th Sts; 212-242-1122, theredcat.com) to pregame from 5pm onward, with suckling-pig nachos and $2 Buds. Either that or head to Delmonico’s for free eats from 5:30–6:30pm. Touchdown!
The wrap-up 2. “Rubbers: The Life, History and Struggle of the Condom” Valentine’s Day is just a weekend away, meaning it’s time to delve into the history of the willy warmer. Do so at The Museum of Sex’s (233 Fifth Ave at 27th St; 212-689-6337, museumofsex.com) new condom exhibit, which examines the history and development of the contraceptive, covering topics like its use in the military, condom distribution among the elderly and the condom as a political-awareness device. If you’re feeling a carnal urge afterward, head over to the trendy Ace Hotel and dig into April Bloomfield’s (Spotted Pig) unapologetically meat-heavy menu at the Breslin Bar & Dining Room(16 W 29th St at Broadway, 212-679-1939). Don’t miss the giant pig’s-foot-for-two entrée, stuffed with cotechino sausage, breaded, fried, and doused in a mix of white wine and cream.
Your perfect Friday is a big Lou Reed fan, so it’ll be heading to see the feisty Fireworks Ensemble perform his 75-minute wall-of-sound distortion onslaught Metal Machine Music. To complete a day of experimental art, pick something up from the Outsider Art Fair to establish your outré credentials, and select a period-specific garment from the Manhattan Vintage Clothing Show.
Alternately, just party down at the Bronx Museum’s free Looking for the Perfect Beat: A Tribute to J Dilla, or at the last of the Guggenheim’s Art After Dark series with electrofunk by Chromeo. Or screw the museums and go to the BAM Opera House to see Ra Ra Riot + The Antlers performing in the Sounds Like Brooklyn music festival. It’s such a perfect Friday.
Classes New York Open Center Open House
Try eight different classes, including belly dancing and how to perform reflexology treatments.
Clubs Smashed! Blocked!: Andre Williams
The revered, swaggering R&B performer Andre Williams—the man behind “Shake a Tail Feather” and “Jail Bait,” among other great tunes—is stepping up to the decks at this party devoted to garage rockers, soul stompers and organ groovers.
Manhattanites and Brooklynites, this one ain’t for you. Go back to whatever holier-than-thou, borough-specific activity you were doing (sipping cocktails in Jimmy Choos, making artisan cheese…).
Everyone else, it’s time to rep your ‘hood! For an upcoming issue we want to hear about your favorite local spots that makes Queens, the Bronx or Staten Island the best borough in the city. E-mail us with up to five of your favorite places—be they restaurants, bars, music venues or something else—and a sentence on what you love about each one. Alternately, drop your thoughts in the comments below. Just try and keep it civil: The inter-borough melee in the TONY office is still raging.
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TUESDAY 9
Talks
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Art
Manhattanites and Brooklynites, this one ain’t for you. Go back to whatever holier-than-thou, borough-specific activity you were doing (sipping cocktails in Jimmy Choos, making artisan cheese…).