One always gets the sense that these James Bond movies are scripted by a team of whiny supervillains who live together in an underground lair that occasionally rises above sea level to fire a laser beam at something. But even casual fans noticed a serious dip in quality between Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. So we’re happy to read that Peter Morgan, playwright and screenwriter of The Queen and Frost/Nixon, has just reported for duty.

Cinematical has the new poster up for Cold Souls, a forthcoming thinker starring Paul Giamatti. Honestly, it’s such a brilliant piece of design, we’d rather not tell you how mediocre the movie is. Just gaze at the poster.

Finally, courtesy of Rope of Silicon and embedded below: the teaser trailer for the new, as-yet-untitled Michael Moore bailout documentary that got theater audiences riled this weekend. (Warning: NSFPeopleWhoCan’tStandMichaelMoore.)

Here’s three for your viewing pleasure this weekend from Team Film. First head down to the Landmark Sunshine and check out Francis Ford Coppola’s latest—the self-financed, self-produced Tetro, starring Vincent Gallo and Alden Ehrenreich, above. From there, head up to Cinema Village and catch the stateside release of Jean-Jacques Beineix’s three-hour director’s cut of the art-movie-cum-sex-romp Betty Blue. Finally, check your local listings for the sci-fi thriller Moon, which proves you can never have too many Sam Rockwells.

There are barbarians at the gate, and one of ‘em is soon to hit cinemas. Variety reports that Marcus Nispel, director of the Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre redos, has been signed to helm a new version of Conan the Barbarian. Governor Schwarzenegger is out of the running for the lead role, we’d think. So tell us, who would you like to see as the muscled warrior who likes to crush his enemies, see them driven before him…and to hear the lamentation of their women?

More director news, though this one’s still in talks: Cinematical says that Neil Marshall, director of The Descent and Doomsday is a likely candidate to make Predators, a reboot of, whaddya know, another Schwarzenegger vehicle.

Finally, IMDb notes that in the Alvin and the Chipmunks sequel (it’s about time!), Christina Applegate, Anna Faris and Amy Poehler will voice Alvin, Simon and Theodore’s female counterparts, The Chipettes. Christmas, Christmas time is here!

That Martin Scorsese kid has a new film coming, and a trailer has just been released. Click here to catch a first glimpse of Shutter Island. Anyone else getting a hyped-up Hour of the Wolf vibe, especially with Max von Sydow in the cast?

Here’s a fascinating concept: an Italian film opening an Italian film festival. For the first time in 20 years, as indieWIRE reports, the Venice Film Festival will kick off with a countryman’s work, in this case Giuseppe “Cinema Paradiso” Tornatore’s Sicily-set epic, Baaria.

More signs of the precarious times: Variety reports that Senator Entertainment’s distribution president, Mark Urman, has vacated his post. Senator’s sole release was the Bret Easton Ellis adaptation The Informers, which flopped. The company now has several films in release limbo, including Antoine Fuqua’s Brooklyn’s Finest and the Julia Roberts starrer Fireflies in the Garden.

Finally, Dave Kehr offers a clarification on the whole Andrew Sarris situation. Turns out he’s not really “fired”…he’s just “freelancing.”

Terrific news from the Museum of Modern Art, which has just announced its upcoming Tim Burton retrospective. He’s most popularly known as a more-than-slightly off-kilter film director, but this series—which runs from November 22, 2009 to April 26, 2010—will encompass more than just his 14 features. As the MoMA description notes:

“This major career retrospective on Tim Burton, consisting of a gallery exhibition and a film series, considers Burton’s career as a director, producer, writer, and concept artist for live-action and animated films, along with his work as a fiction writer, photographer and illustrator. Following the current of his visual imagination from his earliest childhood drawing through his mature work, the exhibition presents artwork generated during the conception and production of his films, and highlights a number of unrealized projects and never-before-seen pieces, as well as student art, his earliest non-professional films, and examples of his work as a storyteller and graphic artist for non-film projects.”

Mark your calendars, kids, and be sure and tell ‘em Large Marge sent ya.

Breaking news, picked up by IFC Daily from a broader report at WWD. Our colleague Andrew Sarris has been laid off from his longtime film-reviewing position at The New York Observer. He’s one of several: Also let go were managing editor Jesse Wegman; executive editor Peter Stevenson; national correspondent Joe Conason; editors Damian Da Costa, Matt Haber, Chris Shott and John Vorwald; reporters Spencer Morgan and Doree Shafir; writer George Gurley, and photo editor Alana Kaloshi.

Go Sweden! Variety reports that the Statens Biografbyra, the Swedish board of film censors, will be closed in 2011, 100 years after its inception. Barring any infringement on, say, child pornography laws, any film can now be shown in its entirety in the country of Bergman.

Variety is reporting that Liam Neeson and the hot-overnight Bradley Cooper are “working out money issues” to star in a movie version of The A-Team, to begin shooting this summer. Of course, we use the term star loosely, in that the pivotal casting will be that of “B.A.” Baracus, the role immortalized by Mr. T—who’s probably free. Seriously, why not?

Via Twitch, Nippon Cinema brings us the superbizarre trailer for Hirokazu Kore-eda’s Air Doll, recently at Cannes. It’s about a man falling in love with his inflatable sex doll. Here it is. As if you really need subtitles for this one.

Slow times in Hollywood today. The biggest news, as Variety reports, is that Javier Bardem has joined the cast of Eat, Pray, Love, an adaptation of a memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert. Bardem joins Julia Roberts and Richard Jenkins in the project, which is to be helmed by Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy.

In Screen Daily, Nancy Tartaglione writes that the critically beloved Iranian filmmaker Abbas Kiarostami begins shooting his latest movie today in Italy. Titled Certified Copy, the film stars Juliette Binoche as a British author who gets involved in a seemingly innocent bit of role-playing with a French art gallery owner that soon spirals out of control.

Finally, click here for an oldie but goodie: a classic Dick Cavett interview with Mark Frechette and Daria Halprin, the stars of Michelangelo Antonioni’s Zabriskie Point, which was just recently released on Region 1 DVD. This clip comes via Glenn Kenny, who offers some thoughts on his blog.

Honestly? We don’t like to watch so much this weekend. Kind of a drag when that happens. But advising you to go see Land of the Lost, My Life in Ruins or The Hangover would be, in the eyes of our critics, visiting a kind of hurt upon you. And you would hate us for it. Still, leave it to that crafty Keith Uhlich to pick a winner in the Chinese semidocumentary 24 City, now at IFC Center. There’s also some way-cool Miyazaki animation at the same venue on Saturday and Sunday; click here for details. Or take the advice of Josh and revisit some crazy Las Vegas movies in the privacy of your own home. That’s the place where Showgirls works best—since innocent audiences needn’t be scarred by it. Only connoisseurs.

Ah, these slow, rainy Fridays, when news is so scarce that you’re reduced to reporting a possible big-screen adaptation of Full House. John “Uncle Jesse Katsopolis” Stamos is looking to bring that ’80s sitcom classic (of a sort) to cinemas with an all-star cast. Among the names mentioned: Steve Carell as patriarch Danny Tanner (formerly played by Bob Saget) and Tracy Morgan as the endlessly inventive Joey Gladstone (originally channeled by Alanis Morissette’s “down on you in a theater” paramour, Dave Coulier). Will there be room for the original cast, à la The Brady Bunch Movie? Not that those Olsen twins need the paycheck…

On to more manly things: Clint Eastwood’s latest, the Nelson Mandela epic now titled Invictus, has been set for release on December 11 of this year. Morgan Freeman plays Mandela and Matt Damon costars as Francois Pienaar, captain of the rugby team that the South African president calls upon to help unite his apartheid-ruled country.

Finally, some recommended reading at Jonathan Rosenbaum’s personal site: His own DVD liner notes deconstruction of a Rainer Werner Fassbinder essential, The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant. We think Uncle Jesse would approve.

Sad, sad news: The AP is reporting that David Carradine, best known for his role on TV’s Kung Fu and in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill movies, was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok early this morning. Carradine was in Thailand to work on an unspecified movie that had begun production this week; while nothing has been confirmed, police have suggested that he took his own life. He was 72. We’ll miss him.

Like a Gallic Energizer bunny, Jean-Luc Godard seems damned near indefatigable. The Hollywood Reporter leads with news that the septuagenarian filmmaker has his sights set on adapting The Lost: A Search for Six of Six Million, Daniel Mendelsohn’s Holocaust tale. We eagerly await biographer Richard “Godard is a big ol’ anti-Semite” Brody’s response.

Oh, awesome: a remake of Short Circuit. Just what we’ve always wanted.

It was inevitable, but we didn’t think it would happen this quickly: Sacha Baron Cohen is already being sued by someone over their inclusion in his new gonzo comedy, Brüno. And it hasn’t even opened yet!

“What’s da matter with you, Cohaagen?! Give dese people air!!!” We just like saying that. And it’s appropriate, given today’s news, from the Hollywood Reporter, that Equilibrium and Ultraviolet helmer Kurt Wimmer has been tapped to pen a reboot of the 1990 Schwarzenegger-Verhoeven vehicle, Total Recall. “Consider dat a divorce!!!” Okay, we’ll stop.

Jack’s back! Variety reports that some guy named Nicholson is close to inking a deal with James L. Brooks to costar in his untitled ensemble romantic comedy, which also stars Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon and Owen Wilson. Do it quick as you can, Jack. We don’t want your last film to be The Bucket List.

Hirsch, Hardwicke, Hamlet. So reporteth indieWIRE.

Finally, howzabout some Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex goodness? Cinematical’s got yer photo gallery right here.

Oh…and…“See you at the party, Richter!”

An arid day for news thus far, unless you’re superstoked for this (per Variety). A live-action Where’s Waldo?: We can all breathe a bit easier. No names attached yet, but we’re rooting for a sprawling, Altmanesque megaproduction in which Waldo is portrayed by a dozen desperate Angelenos all striving to get through the damn day.

Nikki Finke breaks some more news about the sorta-top-secret plot of Oliver Stone’s forthcoming Wall Street sequel: It will include the federal bailout; it will costar Shia LaBeouf and Javier Bardem; and it will be an instant relic upon its February 2010 release.

Tuesdays means new shiny stuff, namely DVDs. Today brings a new transfer of Jean-Luc Godard’s pivotal 1964 experiment, Un Femme Mariée. Here’s our critic’s rave.

How many times have you read one of those Heathcliff comic strips—that’s the funny-pages staple about the other wisecracking orange cat—and thought: Bloody hell, when will someone make this into a movie? Fret no longer: Variety reports today that Magic Lantern Entertainment and FitzRoy Media are intent on turning cartoonist George Gately’s tabby into a big-screen star. We’re guessing that a matchup with the live-action Garfield is all but inevitable; personally, we’re hoping for a Heathcliff vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Predator cine-smackdown.

The trade paper is also reporting that British actor Lucy Punch (above) will be replacing everyone’s favorite antipodean sweetheart, Nicole Kidman, in the upcoming Woody Allen movie. If you just said “Lucy Who?,” we don’t blame you; Punch’s best-known roles prior to this were a bit role on the CBS show The Class and a small part in Edgar Wright’s Hot Fuzz. Congratulations, Lucy, and cross your fingers that this new Woody joint doesn’t turn out to be Melinda and Melinda Redux.

Hey, Holmes! Sherlock Holmes, that is. As the publicity machine starts to crank into gear for Guy Ritchie’s upcoming blockbuster on the Victorian detective—not due in theaters until Christmas Day, but hey, why not start spreading the word now?—The Los Angeles Times explores the continued fascination with Arthur Conan Doyle’s old pipe-smoking sleuth. Ritchie’s movie apparently portrays Holmes as an international man of mystery, while a second in-the-works Sherlock flick (starring Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen) will apparently turn him into a bumbling yahoo. Both approaches seem, frankly, less than elementary.

Things are looking Up at the multiplex this weekend, as the latest release from Pixar opens wide. Why not check it out on one of the city’s biggest screens, the Ziegfeld? After such lighthearted fare, get thee to hell, Satan, and see Sam Raimi’s return to splatterific horror, Drag Me to Hell. Also be sure to check out our own Joshua Rothkopf’s chat with Raimi. Off the beaten path, you’ll want to head over to Anthology Film Archives for Munyurangabo, a terrific debut feature by Korean-American director Lee Isaac Chung about the friendship between two Rwandan teenagers. Then finish up at Cinema Village, where you can catch the Vietnamese fairy tale Owl and the Sparrow.

As if we needed any further indication that the U.S. empire is crumbling, Variety reports that Steven Spielberg’s The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn will bow in foreign territories before it debuts stateside. The 3-D motion-capture adaptation of Belgian artist Hergé’s classic series of books comes to us Westerners on December 23, 2011; international audiences will get to see it in October or November, depending on territory. Makes us want to shout out Captain Haddock’s catchphrase: “Blistering barnacles!”

Everywhere around the world, they’re coming to America. This time it’s Paul Verhoeven, planting himself back on U.S. soil—so says the Hollywood Reporter—for The Surrogate. It’s a heartwarming tale of a couple so desperate to have a child that they hire a surrogate mother…only to discover that she’s bat-poop bonkers. Sounds like we’ve got some pure Verhoevenian madness on tap.

Some recommended reading in light of today’s release of Drag Me to Hell, director Sam Raimi’s return to balls-to-the-wall horror. Check out this post at GreenCine Daily by Steven Boone, who draws parallels between Raimi and Polish horror auteur Andrzej Zulawski.

Finally, a Toy Story 3 teaser trailer.

Werner Herzog goes for it in our lead news item. Check the embed above (or click here) for a look at the promotional trailer to Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, a redo of the New York–set Abel Ferrara/Harvey Keitel provocation from 1992. Herzog’s star, Nicolas Cage, looks to be in primo bat-shit-crazy mode, and we dig the twangy Stroszek-esque melody playing throughout. Signs are good that this is one of those remakes—like John Carpenter’s The Thing or Jonathan Demme’s The Manchurian Candidate—that carves out its own distinct identity.

There’s DreamWorks Animation news galore in this Variety article. All films on their upcoming slate, per CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg, will be produced in 3-D. Among the to-be-released titles are two prominent sequels (Kung Fu Panda: The Kaboom of Doom and Shrek Forever After), along with a several new properties (among them, Oobermind, featuring the voices of Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey).

Finally, film critic Stanley Kauffmann is celebrating his 50th year in the business, and the magazine where he hangs his hat (The New Republic) is going all out in his honor. Kauffmann sits down for an extended chat with TNR senior editor Ruth Franklin; also included are links to selections from his extensive body of work. Our congrats!

Our favorite screenwriting site, the lackadaisically updated Mystery Man, has posted some early drafts of what became Star Wars, 32 years old this week. Versions of the script date as far back as May 1974; they feature young Anakin “Starkiller,” his ill-fated brother Deak (killed by a “lasersword”) and Lucas’s brusque way with the ladies. Read on.

Seth Rogen will voice an alien escaping from Area 51 in Paul, the new comedy from the Shaun of the Dead guys. Variety reports that Adventureland’s Greg Mottola will direct (not Edgar Wright), and that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are on board as costars. Hard to say how enjoyably neurotic it will be. Kristen Wiig’s involved.

Finally, the news just keeps getting better for fans of the postapocalypse: Apart from October’s Harvey-produced bleakathon The Road, there’s also The Book of Eli, starring Denzel Washington. He wanders the destroyed American wasteland with a piece of writing that might save us. USA Today has some exclusive images (one’s above). The movie comes out in that ultrahot second week of January, 2010. Sarcasm! Feast.

Remakes and reboots lead off today’s movie news. First up from The Hollywood Reporter, the 1986, um, “classic” Flight of the Navigator is getting a do-over courtesy Mandeville Films and writer Brad Copeland (of Wild Hogs, Arrested Development and My Name Is Earl).

THR also notes that a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer film is in the works, though without the input of character creator Joss Whedon. The awesomely named Fran Rubel Kuzui—who directed the 1992 Buffy starring Kristy Swanson—is on board as producer, maybe more.

Variety reports that Russian actor Oleg Yankovsky, star of two Andrei Tarkovsky masterpieces—The Mirror and Nostalghia—has passed away at the age of 65.

Finally, Anne Thompson speaks with Quentin Tarantino at The Daily Beast about his Cannes-premiered Inglourious Basterds before its wide release in August. Thompson offers some further thoughts on her own blog, primarily on Tarantino’s plan to reedit the film before the wide release.

It’s slim pickings at the multiplex this Memorial Day weekend, so the TONY film crew suggests making it a documentary kind of holiday. First, head on over to Film Forum for Burma VJ, Anders Østergaard’s account of the members of the Democratic Voice of Burma who secretly film life under the junta and pass the footage along to Western news outlets. Then check out the Cinema Village offering New World Order, which lends a sympathetic ear to conspiracy theorists. Stay on at Cinema Village for Milton Glaser: To Inform and Delight, a portrait of the designer who created the classic I ♥ NY campaign. And should you need a fiction fix, you could do worse than Steven Soderbergh’s The Girlfriend Experience, featuring porn starlet Sasha Grey and our “gelatinous” film-critic compadre Glenn Kenny, whose two-part set diary at The Auteurs’ Notebook is well worth a read.

Another day, another USA Today exclusive: This time around it’s an advance look at M. Night “It’s my Happening and it freaks me out!” Shyamalan’s latest, an adaptation of the Nickelodeon cartoon Avatar: The Last Airbender. The picture above is of 12-year-old Noah Ringer, who makes his feature-film debut as lead character Aang. Also in the cast is Slumdog Millionaire’s Dev Patel as Aang’s nemesis, Zuko.

The Hollywood Reporter announces that those HIGH-lair-ee-us Bazooka Joe comics are coming to cinema screens. It’s all a part of power player Michael Eisner’s “mandate to rejuvenate the [Topps Trading Card] brand,” which he purchased in 2007 for a mere $380 million. Fresh-out-of-college screenwriter Mark Hammer is set to write the script.

HitFix reports that Michael Moore’s new documentary, still untitled, will hit theaters this October 2. The controversial filmmaker’s latest effort, his first since 2007’s Sicko, explores the current financial crisis.

In the must-read department, Jonathan Rosenbaum has just posted the English version of an article on Jean-Luc Godard’s Histoire(s) du cinéma, which he wrote several years ago for the French film magazine Trafic.

Finally: Ever wonder what some of your favorite movie posters would look like if created from LEGOS? Now you’ll know. (LEGO Pacino looks like he should be barn-raising in Witness.)