...but what if they cost $895?

Just happened: I’m making a reservation at Bouley. As I’m wearing jeans, I asked if there is a dress code. No dress code, said the French-accented phone attendant. But sneakers are not allowed. Really? That’s odd. (What if, say, I was wearing these Silvano bad boys?)

It turns out I am going to dinner with a friend who, due to orthopedic issues, wears sneakers virtually daily. I recall this and start to tell the reservationist: “Is it all right if my guest is wearing sneakers? She just had surgery—” into which a huffy voice broke. “No. No sneakers. Sneakers is something that’s really not allowed. Let me transfer you to the maitre d’.”

Ring. Ring. No one picks up. The French voice again. “Hello, restaurant Bouley?” “Hi. I was waiting for the maitre d’?” “Oh, he didn’t pick up? He will have to call you back.” At this point, I kind of can’t believe it. The economy is in the shitter. The reservation is at 8 (they also had an opening at 8:30pm—so they’re really busy), and we’re willing to pay $38 per entree for the privilege. Jeans are allowed. Sneakers are not? Bouley, don’t you have rent to pay, brother?

“Look,” I tell the unsympathetic character. “My friend has orthopedic issues, so if she eats at your restaurant, she will be wearing sneakers—” “Again,” she says, interrupting again, “I will talk to the maitre d’ and call you back.”

Most normal people at this stage would say, hell, there are about a thousand other restaurants, great restaurants, in NYC where someone who has to wear sneakers can eat. Curious about how other establishments would handle the same scenario, I call Per Se: “Jeans and tennis shoes are not allowed.” But what if a person has to wear sneakers? “If it’s for medical reasons it’s okay. But are they dark?” Onto Daniel: Men are required to wear jackets, and women are encouraged to wear evening gowns “as long as it’s not worn with sneakers.” I explain my predicament. After putting me on hold, the attendant came back and offered this alternative: “We have a very nice lounge where the full menu is available, and the dress code is not as strict.”

It all comes down to customer service folks. It’s been more than 45 minutes and I’m still waiting to hear from my pals at Bouley. At this point, it’s out of curiosity only. Tonight I’ll be going where all the other sneaker-wearing folks hang out: Sizzler.