Please Toby, don't hurt us.

And we’re back. Did anyone really notice that TC was on a two-week holiday hiatus? We sure didn’t. As far as we’re concerned, this season is faltering, taking the show into a downward spiral of product placement and tiresome challenges (”…and then we’ll give them only microwaves and toaster ovens to cook with!”). In an effort to add some more edge to the season (and because Gail was off getting some primo newlywed nookie), last night they introduced Toby Young—the Simon Cowell of food criticism—as the permanent judge for the remainder of the cycle.

Chef Jean-Christophe Novelli guest-judged the episode, starting with an insidious Diet Dr Pepper–sponsored quickfire challenge: to create a sweet treat without using sugar. Much has been made of the product placement on Top Chef, but this first episode of the New Year reached an all-time low for the show. The despondent look on Ariane Duarte’s face summed it up as she announced that she was grabbing—wouldn’t ya know—a Diet Dr Pepper for her dish. But enough griping; the show’s still the best cooking-based reality show out there—at least until Chopped arrives next Tuesday on Food Network.

Ariane had a great quote during the QF that illustrated just why the show has gone downhill. Upset with a comment Novelli made about her whipped cream, she snorted, “I mean, he’s basically picking apart everyone’s desserts.” Well, yes, that’s because this is a cooking competition and you’re on TV.

On to the particulars, Radhika won immunity for a bread pudding with white peach and cashews, which came in handy when her curried crab bisque was declared a “weapon of mass destruction” by Young. Speaking of, the elimination was halfway decent this time around, splitting the chefs into groups and having them blind taste each other’s dishes—and then getting to watch the criticism instantly via hidden camera.

Jamie Lauren finally won a challenge (yes, using scallops). We can only hope she moves on to another protein in coming episodes. Since no one was sent home last episode, this time Hawaiian chef Eugene Villiatora (for overcooked red snapper and being “too creative”—wha?) and Melissa Harrison (for tuna crudo tacos that tasted “like cat food,” according to Young) were sent on their way. Carla Hall saved herself from getting Chopped (premieres Tuesday!) by actually explaining how she would’ve cooked a better dish—a Top Chef first!

Next week: Kosher toque and Top Chef season three winner Hung Huynh pays the chefs a visit! And the chefs in turn pay a visit to what looks like Blue Hill at Stone Barns! (We think we spotted a jewfroed Dan Barber.)—Zachary Feldman