Ms. Deen, Ms. Deen, what are we going to do with you? It was leather weekend in the MPD, and for some reason, I was unfazed by the lady on the sidewalk in the leather bra, yet was fainthearted after Paula Deen’s appearance yesterday at Comix. Before I share with y’all (pronounced "YOWL") the nuggets that made Paula Deen’s the most offbeat event I attended at the NYWFF (and keep in mind, I saw Gordon Ramsay call the French cannibals and Ferran Adria’s liquid nitrogen slideshow) let me just say: The audience loved Paula. They came in loving her, and probably left loving her more. There was a standing O when she appeared, they laughed at all her jokes, they let her sit in their laps and spray them with whipped cream. It was kinda sweet—and very creepy.

The Southern-fried belle, with a hairdo that Billy Joel told her "looks like feathers"—"You and Rod Stewart wear that shag and I sure do like it," she paraphrased—dished out a combination of back-woods vaudeville, Oprah-esque advice (from her own hard-earned experience—she revealed that she was agoraphobic for 20 years), and some unexpected humor. Out of her hour onstage, only 15 minutes were devoted to cooking. But the audience didn’t seem to mind one bit. Some highilghts (or low points, depending on who you ask):

-Deen randomly announced that her husband and sidekick, Michael Groover, had done DIY surgery on a bone spur on his hand by using a pull tab from a soda can. Two days ago. On a plane. And it got infected. Now he’s onstage. Preparing food.

-Deen removed a couple of silver-colored extensions from her hair, and kept clipping them on and off while chatting with the crowd before eventually using one to cover an audience member’s bald spot.

-Another baldy that Deen really liked was used by her as an arm chair: "It’s not every day I get to look at y’all in the eye, and chat with y’all and"—gasp—"make out with y’all." Then she went in for a kiss—on the cheek.

-Called the Neeleys "the black Deens"

-Took a can of Reddi Whip (from her cooking demo, natch) into the audience, sprayed a rosette onto a man’s head and then ate it

When Deen finally made it into the kitchen, she relished every opportunity to infuse innuendo while making her "porky-pine meatballs." Though Deen was there plugging her new children’s cookbook, you never would have guessed it. Paula, the next cake you eat should be made out of soap.