Weaned, as they’ve been, on a menu of pastrami and corned beef, our hosts at the Friars Club last night seemed stultified by the presence of a tuna and hamachi tartare. This and other vaguely dated delicacies (“rouille foam” on a bouillabaisse gelée, for example) came courtesy of newly appointed executive chef Jason Kallert.

The young toque, who could most recently be found feeding from Sirio Maccioni’s ample teat as chef de cuisine at Le Cirque, served a decadent—if not always successful—six-course feast that inspired soigné guest Sally Jessy Raphael to exclaim, “This can’t be the Friars Club! There are four wineglasses on the table!”

But SJR wasn’t the only celebrity on hand. The Fraggle-like Howard Stern towered over the cocktail hour upstairs; Robin Quivers and Sirius CEO Mel Karmizen rounded out his entourage. Restaurant honchos Drew Nieporent and a hulking, double-kissing Maccioni made the rounds.
 
Between the courses a series of Friar elders delivered comedic speeches introducing VIPs of varying levels of I. Among the quips: the revelation that, despite all evidence to the contrary, guest Joy Behar is not in fact a Jew. There you have it: If the deli-displacing menu upsets, take solace in knowing that at the Friars Club, the schmaltz is still firmly in place.