Ever wonder why you never see a New York family on any of those kids-from-hell reality shows? We do. Much as we’d like to think we’re better parents than our suburban and rural counterparts, we’ve seen plenty of hateful behavior from our little city slickers—and not just in Park Slope either. Thankfully, Nanny 911 is here to  exploit , er, aid Big Apple families just like us!
 
We read the show’s audition flyer, and though we’d love to snark, deep down we can’t help feeling that the producers may indeed be talking to us.
 
“Are your children out of control?”
 
I have a toddler, so the answer should be obvious.
 
“Do they throw tantrums in public or have meltdowns during meals?”
 
That’s why I haven’t had a decent brunch in over a year.
 
“Would you like to implement structure and restore harmony to your household?”
 
Sure…and can you work on world peace too while you’re at it?
 
The notice calls for “outgoing, charismatic families who need help managing day-to-day family obstacles.” Which basically sounds like every single family in New York. But will any of us be naive enough to bite? And will the show’s crack team of experts be able to deal with our unique New York problems, like how to get Junior into a decent school or why rats may look like mice but make bad pets?
 
Interested families should e-mail the following info to Nanny911families@yahoo.com.
 
1. Family name
2. Address and contact info
3. A brief description of your family, its members, the out-of-control kids with examples of their bad behavior and why you would be good for the show. In other words, sell yourselves!
4. A list of issues you’d like to see resolved
5. Photos of your family