If only Steinbeck were alive to see what’s being done to him on Amazon.com. The Morning News—home of the great Tournament of Books—has compiled some classic one-star reviews of classic novels on Amazon. It’s a little difficult to pick a favorite, but two of my favorite books have some great ones, including One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: “I guess if you were interested in crazy people this is the book for you.” And Slaughterhouse-Five gets a painfully literal read from one member, who concludes, “I also do not believe that a person has seven parents.” Although, this guy kind of got it right about The Great Gatsby: “It grieves me deeply that we Americans should take as our classic a book that is no more than a lengthy description of the doings of fops.”

The trouble is that this is really addictive, and I’ve just spent half an hour reading through pans of my favorite books as a kid, including The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (”As it seems most people love this book, I am a voice of the silent minority, or perhaps majority. Anyways, they are silent so no one really knows.”). Then I decided to take a look through some recent favorites, too, and after reading David Mitchell’s The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, I thought I’d see what one-star granters said about his most popular novel, Cloud Atlas: “We always have to read books like this at book group, rather than anything with a proper plot.”

It’s strange to think that the world-at-large knows of Harvey Pekar best because of a movie. The film adaptation of American Splendor, his autobiographical comic of the same name, made Paul Giamatti everyone’s favorite onscreen everyman, and brought much-deserved attention to Pekar’s sharp comic work (Unless you buy the idea that his stint as a Letterman character created an audience for his comics). Likely, you’ve heard by now that Pekar, 70, died at 1am this morning in his Cleveland Heights home, and it’s again frustrating to see his accomplishments make headlines so late in the game.

What’s fascinating to me about Pekar is that he essentially established and reimagined comics as a writer’s medium—Pekar also wrote jazz criticism. Certainly, since the first funnybooks slid into dime store racks there have been writers who weren’t also artists. Most of them worked on superhero titles, though. When discussing Pekar, critics tend to namecheck Chekhov, and whether that praise is apt or not is moot, to my eyes. What Pekar did was show off comics’ literary capabilities. A man who couldn’t draw chose an artist’s medium and showed how it could examine the very things that the cloistered literary world claimed it couldn’t. He may be remembered for being ornerary, but I have a feeling his literary legacy will live well past that.

Well, you all racked up some high scores. Higher, admittedly, than your humble contest judge. Here is your winner’s screencap:

We never got so far as the flowers. We’ve agreed with the winner that it’s in everyone’s best interest (but mostly in the interest of his employment), to use only his initials in revealing the winner. So congratulations KG! And no, that’s not Kevin Garnett. Although, I suppose anything’s poossssibbbblllllllleee!!!

Congrats again KG, we’ll be sending you some of our summer reading selections, and carefully curated CDs from our music department. Well played.

No doubt by now you’ve heard that Google has chosen to celebrate Pac-Man’s 30th birthday (everyone, everywhere feels old today), by converting the logo banner on its home page into a customized, playable Pac-Man board. Like the original game, it’s ludicrously addictive.

Back in the day, we had a recurring feature on this blog called Bored at Work, which was devoted to the idea that come Friday afternoon, you’d much rather be surreptitiously playing video games or watching YouTube videos than, say, working. Considering the sheer amount of TOC man hours we’ve already lost to this Google game, we’re reviving the feature and adding a little fun. Play the game, take a screencap of your high score, and e-mail it over to me. The contest will close at 4:30pm, and I’ll announce the winner of a TOC bag of goodies, with contributions from the Books and Music departments, as well as others.

Happy slacking and snacking!

In case you’re wondering, Vinny Del Negro still hasn’t been replaced as coach of the Bulls. Despite the fact that his departure from the team is such a foregone conclusion that other coaches are already picturing themselves in his Pomade, nothing’s been announced, and according to reports, won’t be for a few days.

I was thinking of the Bulls’ coaching woes last night, as I watched Scott Skiles and his injury-depleted team go up 3-2 on the Atlanta Hawks (season-ending injuries, it’s worth noting, since injuries have been the Bulls’ readymade excuse). I’m not interested in a Del Negro vs. Skiles comparison (though, I’m loving that Skiles knows how to use Salmons), but I am fascinated by this new Scott Skiles.

Let’s talk about the fact that Skiles suddenly likes playing younger players. I enjoyed Scotty as the Bulls coach, but like everyone else, thought his leash and temper were way too short with his young’uns, and I still think it’s fair to say he was constitutionally opposed to coaching Ty Thomas and maybe even Ben Gordon. But he’s not doing this in Milwaukee. He has stuck with Jennings, a huge talent with the occasional maturity issue. And last night when Ilyasova got an offensive rebound, I watched Skiles slap the hell out of his head (this is how he shows affection), and my instinct was to say, “Why couldn’t you have been doing this in Chicago four years ago?!”

My initial response was to think that maybe the young talent in Milwaukee surpassed the Bulls’, but I don’t really believe that. Skiles has grown. There’s no way that if the Bulls had Jennings four years ago, he would have been starting over Luke Ridnour the way he is now (a Kirk Hinrich/Chris Duhon equivalent). Just no way. Jennings would have been pouting on the bench, and screwing up in the playoffs because Skiles would have never used him in pressure situations, and any mistake would land him on the bench.

So part of me watches this Bucks team and half-jokingly says, “Why couldn’t we get a coach like that?” Which isn’t fair to the Bulls, since Skiles wasn’t that coach a couple years ago (though the Del Negro hiring was so disastrous that “fair” doesn’t really enter into it). But really what’s happened has been more interesting. We tend to think of coaches as immutable system-computers: You hire them to implement their game and plug the players into their pre-arranged roles. That was the idea with Mike D’Antoni, that he would get the Bulls out and running because that’s how he plays ball. But it’s cool to watch a coach grow. But look at ornery ol’ Scott, changing his ways and becoming a better coach for a different team that, in contrast to the Bulls this year,  has been really fun to watch.

The Bad Plus

ART & DESIGN - “WCA 2010: From the Center: Now!”
Feminist art critic and curator extraordinaire Lucy Lippard juried  this exhibition of almost 40 women artists, which is sponsored by the  Women’s Caucus for Art. Woman Made Gallery, noon-7pm. FREE!

CLASSICAL - CSO: Friday Night at the Movies
The CSO’s popular series returns with a mystery-flick night, featuring a showing of Buster Keaton’s genius comedic caper, Sherlock, Jr. Timothy Brock, a film score historian who has composed new music for nearly 30 silents, has written a new score for the stunt-filled materpiece. Movie-music conductor Richard Kaufman also leads the orchestra in famous motifs from Sleuth, The Pink Panther, Murder on the Orient Express, Young Sherlock Holmes and more. Symphony Center, 8pm, $29–$82.

COMEDY - Holla, Hola, Heeey (Oy Vey!)
iO’s diversity show features three of its finest troupes: African-American improvisers Blackout, gay trio 1, 2, 3…Fag! and estrogen-fueled duo Dominizeulan. iO Cabaret, 8pm, $14.

FILM - Queen Kelly
Erich von Stroheim was like the James Cameron of the 1920s, spending lavishly and micromanaging every detail, right down to the underwear his extras wore. That extravagance got his spectacle Queen Kelly killed before production was complete, but even in a reconstruction using footage and some still photographs, it’s crazy stuff and a study in opulence. Gene Siskel Film Center, 6pm. $9, students $7, members $5.

MUSIC - The Bad Plus
Anyone who’s still slagging on the Bad Plus for covering pop tunes  needs to check the group out live. Onstage, the trio sounds like  nothing less than the consummate contemporary-jazz combo, by turns cerebral, visceral and disarmingly emotive. Pianist Ethan Iverson,  bassist Reid Anderson and drummer Dave King boast a rare onstage  magnetism that transcends genre. University of Chicago, Mandel Hall;
7:30pm; $25, students $10.

Today, Salinger's Wiki entry was briefly reduced to a more "minimalist" approach.

J.D. Salinger, author of the classic Catcher in the Rye, has died of natural causes in his home. Salinger was also the author of the great story collections Franny and Zooey, Nine Stories and Raise High the Roofbeam, Carpenters, always instantly recognizable (and, to this lover of his books, heart-warming) in those beautiful, simple Little Brown editions (pictured below).

I won’t waste your time explaining his literary legacy; you know it already. You read Catcher in the Rye in high school—or should have—probably fell in love with it, and watched as all those Herman Hesse novels you thought were so wonderful faded to a pale in comparison. It’s precisely because of the impact that singular book had that people have become so fascinated by Salinger’s reclusiveness. Really, it’s not strange at all that a writer would wish to be left alone, or would at least prefer the company of his familiar home and small town than, say, the odd New York Times Magazine profiler. There are plenty of writers who sit at home by themselves every day. They just didn’t write one of the definitive American novels.

Salinger’s famous solitude actually doesn’t strike me as strange or fascinating anymore. It makes sense. If you write a series of books that enter the pantheon, you’ve earned your right to leave it at that. Restraint is as worthy a characteristic of an artist as any other, and Salinger may have been the most restrained of the American masters. A lot of the obits arriving today recycle the old tale from Salinger’s neighbor, Jerry Burt, that he’d written another 15 novels but had locked them away in a vault. Am I curious to read them? Of course. But I’m inclined to say let’s keep them there. The whole The Original of Laura debacle taught us more about the invasive nature of fandom than it did about the work of Nabokov.

Salinger decided these 15 novels were not up to his standard, for whatever reason. And frankly, I’m inclined to believe one of the best writers of the 20th century over, say, anyone else. Let’s let him rest in peace.

I don’t know what to say. I’ve written some pretty harsh things about our former governor, Rod Blagojevich, all of them well-earned. But damned if the guy doesn’t know how to sign a book. Two pm on a Friday afternoon at the Barnes & Noble at the DePaul Center is nobody’s idea of an opportune moment for publicity, but there was Blago, seated at a table and ringed by cameras and about 30 gawkers to personalize copies of his book, The Governor (probably another 20, like your trusty reporter, stood in line off to the side to have their books signed). “Seated” doesn’t do the restless-leg governor justice, as he bounced up and down to greet everyone who approached him.

I got in line and prodded the two DePaul students in front of me for a reason they were there. I asked if they were fans, and one of them said, “I don’t know. I’ve just heard about him, a bit.” A bit!

When I made it through the line, the ex-guv stood up and said “Sorry for the wait, man,” and shook my hand. I’ll say two things about first impressions of Rod Blagojevich: (1) The hair isn’t that weird and (2) He’s a nice guy. Of course, he’s a fallen politician, and being nice is just about the only tool in his box for picking his way up out of the pit he dug. But still, when I asked him to sign a copy of our Our Dumb Decade issue, complete with an illustration of a be-tracksuited governor and his bug-eating wife, I didn’t expect him to laugh and say, “Yeah, I’ll totally do that.” And I definitely did not, after I told him he could just sign his name, expect him to write, “Hey Jonathan, You sir are “‘f n Golden’!” All of which demonstrates an uncanny sense of humor about himself that was never on display during his impeachment tour, appears absent from his book, and may actually be symptomatic of a larger mania (as some have suggested).

The signed cover, and my blissed-out moment with the Golden Guv, are up in that slide show. Photos: Nicole Radja.

FRIDAY  JANUARY 1

CLUBS - Dance in the New Year
If you didn’t overdo it the night before, keep the party going at Lincoln Hall with the hipster stylings of DJs Skyler, Midnight Conspiracy, Broken Disco 1980, Trav and West. Glitterguts is on hand to snap photos, and cheap drinks top the menu. Lincoln Hall, 9pm. $5.

COMEDY - Improvised Shakespeare
It’s a night of Elizabethan tomfoolery that’s not to be missed. The nimble players capture the spirit of the Bard without ever lifting material directly from his work. iO Del Close Theater; 8pm, 10:30pm. $14.

MUSIC - The Black Keys
Live, Akron, Ohio, duo the Black Keys continue to make us all wonder how two people can create so many sounds. Fresh off promoting the new rap-rock project BlakRoc, Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney hold down two nights in Chicago, during which they’ll likely preview cuts from a forthcoming follow-up to ’08’s Danger Mouse–produced Attack & Release. Riviera Theatre, 8pm. $27.

SPORTS & REC - Pilsen/Little Village Circular Mass
This monthly tour of Pilsen and Little Village is open to anyone with a bike. Like other Critical Mass rides, the route is determined the night of the event and depends on the whims of the group. Meet at Tenochtitlan Plaza, 6:30pm. FREE.

THEATER - The Message Is in the Music
The slim pretext of Black Ensemble’s latest theatrical mix-tape pits no less than God against Lucifer in a soul-music-powered battle for souls, with angels and demons throwing down on the likes of “What’d I Say” and “Devil in Disguise.” Black Ensemble Theater, 8pm. $45.

SATURDAY JANUARY 2

AROUND TOWN - Hoops and Hops Party
Forget about the fact that you haven’t really recovered from New Year’s Eve yet and get ready to party. At this shindig, guests take in Bloody Marys and a breakfast buffet then hop on a special bus to the Illinois vs. Gonzaga game at the United Center (1901 W Madison St). Joe’s Bar, 9:30am. $35.

BOOKS - Blackstone Book Exchange
Bring along one to five “good reads” to swap at Blackstone’s annual exchange. It’s looking for decent books—novels, biographies, cookbooks—so leave that urban-planning textbook from 1989 at home. Chicago Public Library, Blackstone Branch, 2pm. FREE.

FILM - Gogol Bordello Non-Stop
Catch the local premiere of this 2008 documentary following frontman Eugene Hütz and his rowdy band of Gypsy-punks. Gene Siskel Film Center, 8pm. $10.

MUSIC - Battle of the Saxes
Ed Petersen and Von Freeman are two of Chicago’s revered sax masters; tonight, they’ll face off against each other, and we can promise there’ll be more exciting music than just trading fours. Green Mill, 8pm. $12.

SHOPPING - Charitable shopping
If you’re New Year’s resolution is to be more charitable in ‘10, this Wicker Park shop here to help. Bring in a winter coat (which will be donated to Cornerstone Community Outreach) and you’ll get 10% off your next purchase at Connect. They’re taking any type of coats this season, but the organization is in particular need for larger men’s outerwear. Connect, noon–8pm.

SUNDAY JANUARY 3

ART & DESIGN - “Joseph Yoakum: Line and Landscape”
The museum pairs fantastical landscapes by Yoakum (1890–1972), a self-taught artist and South Side resident, with works by the Chicago Imagists he inspired. Smart Museum of Art, 11am-5pm. FREE.

CLUBS - Living Sundays
The folks from Moment Sound rev up your sleepy Sunday with a night of new music, video art and live performance. Tonight, Dojo and Twitch provide the ornate musical tapestry with Ontologist on hand to supply the visuals. rodan, 9pm. FREE.

COMEDY- Middle Age Comeback
Veteran improvising duo Craig Uhlir and Jimmy Carlson crank out fast-paced improv. iO Cabaret, 10:30pm. $5.

FILM - Rififi
Dassin’s très awesome noirish caper flick is justly famous for the long dialogue-free heist sequence. It’s nearly 30 minutes of exquisite suspense. Music Box, 11:30am. $9.25.

MUSIC - Roy Hargrove Quintet
For five years now, Roy Hargrove has been doing double duty, spending half his time as a funkster with his slick combo RH Factor and the other half as a soulful neobopper, usually with a quintet. It’s not too tough to guess which mode he’s likely to favor here at the Jazz Showcase, especially since Hargrove’s last quintet CD, 2008’s Earfood, stuck close to a hardbop template forged by the likes of Cedar Walton and Lee Morgan. Jazz Showcase; 4pm, 8pm, 10pm. $20-$25.

COMEDY - New Year’s Eve Eve Comedian’s Party and Roast
Every week, dozens of newbie stand-ups try their hand at the mike. Tonight, they get to skewer hosts Adam Burke and Cameron Esposito. Let the jabs begin. Cole’s, 9pm. FREE.

FILM - Steamboat Bill Jr.
ollege turns the son of a steamboat captain into a fussy type. But romance and a storm at sea make a man out of Mr. Fancy Pants. This is among Keaton’s best films. Also on the bill is Buster Keaton and Eddie Cline’s 1920 short “One Week” (20mins). Gene Siskel Film Center, 6pm.

GAY & LESBIAN - Power Hour
Spread out in mini’s new space with your change; cocktails are just one cent for the first five minutes of every hour. minibar, 9pm.

MUSIC - Immediate Sound: Josh Berman’s Old Idea
Local cornetist Berman digs in with postbop aplomb on his Delmark debut, Old Idea, his first album as a leader. It’s an impressive collection that sees the scene standby honoring the jazz tradition with original tunes favoring minimal arrangements. Hideout, 9:30pm. $6.

NIGHTLIFE - Get Get Down
Looking for a reason to glam yourself up on a weekday? Zebo and Popstatic are the residents, and they’ve got crates—well, digital crates—of excuses for you. Championing the past, present and future of house music, they don’t discriminate. Berlin, 11pm. FREE.