Yesterday on Eat Out’s Twitter feed, @TOCEatOut, Julia and I (well, mostly me, really) took on Chicago magazine’s September cover story: Jeff Ruby’s list of the 30 Greatest Burgers in Chicago.

Having done these types of stories before (see our own best burger [or pizza, or breakfast] list), I’ve got nothing but respect for Ruby. I know that these lists require deep reserves of tenacity, clear-headedness and Rolaids, and that they involve far more work (read: burgers) than the finished project suggests. (This last fact is one that is usually disregarded by haters like the guys behind the Chicago Burger Project, a blog that I would warn Ruby to watch out for were it not for the fact that, 30 months later, they still haven’t finished childishly ripping apart assessing TOC’s list.) Add to all this the fact that Ruby did this list himself, with no help from his co-worker, and you have a truly great achievement. Personally, I think I would have cracked.

However: Dueling food writers can disagree in good faith. So in case you missed it, here are our thoughts about Ruby’s picks, presented one tweet at a time. You may note that not every burger Ruby selected was addressed in these tweets. But can I be blamed? I tried to take on 30 burgers in six hours! A man gets bogged down, you know…

Prepare 4 smackdown. We’ll b tweeting a comeback to @Chicago Mag / @dropkickjeffy ’s pix for top 30 burgers every 15 min starting at noon.

We start tweeting about @ChicagoMag’s burger list in 3 mins…

And we’ll start with #9, the David Burke burger. We concur 100%. I want to live in the James so I can order this thing every night.

Staying positive, let’s talk about #2: The burger at HotChocolate. @dropkickjeffy is right—it’s all about that garlic bun.

Time to get real. #5, the BBQ Burger at Marc Burger. Really? We thought that burger was booooring. Samuelsson needs to stick with fish.

#4, the Custom House burger: Agreed. Get it with bacon.

#21, the burger at Cross-Rhodes: A burger on a pita is always a good thing. Too many burgers succumb to a big bun.

#29, the Epic Burger at Epic Burger. Good that it’s low on the list, but should it have made the list at all? So thin, so dry, so so-so.

For the record, that was David ripping on Epic Burger. If I may: So thin, so lacey, so delicious. Fried egg recommended.

Sorry for that interruption, folks - you’re with David again. Let’s talk about #22, the burger at Nightwood. Not bad, but nothing special.

OK, is everybody ready for this? #27, Five Guys. Most. Overrated. Burger. On Earth.

#20, the classic cheeseburger at Erwin. We’re with you on this one, Jeffy. Mazel tov.

#25, the Wagyu burger at Yoshi’s. Oy…Yoshi’s…is any place more bizarre? We’ll agree that this is indeed a good burger, though.

Okay, #3, Kuma’s Corner. I have a feeling Ruby feared harm would come to him if he hadn’t included this. And I understand that completely.

However: Some day, we will all stop talking about Kuma’s.

You’re indeed right. Small Bar basically does well on any list. RT @SmallBarDst: that burger at #18 though, man, it’s good. Am I right?!

#11, That’s-A-Burger. A classic case of forumania. It’s not bad. But it’s definitely not top 30.

Regarding #7, #16 and #30…we’re just going to have to take Jeffy’s word on these. We’re suburb-burger illiterate.

#26. the Bin 36 burger. J’adore the Bin restaurants. Shocked that this one beat out bin wine cafe’s, though.

#10, Cortland Street Burger. How Jeffy withstood the crowd here to actually eat this thing, I have no idea. Better than me, that guy.

#13, Capital Grille burger. Seriously, Jeffy, what’s with all the chains?? Then again, this is no surprise. @ChicagoMag loves them some CG.

#14 Hop Haus. Chain-ish but otherwise not too shabby.

That’s all for today. We’re burgered out. Which is funny because one of us ate salad for lunch.