Remember all the way back in the fall of 2008 when Obama won and everything looked so rosy that all we cared about was whether he’d rescue a dog from a shelter and his Blackberry from oblivion? What was wrong with us? Glad we got over that.

San Francisco comedy troupe Kasper Hauser hopes we never did. Their new book, Obama’s Blackberry, is roughly 140 pages of jokes as text messages. You can probably guess at the contents: Joe Biden is always trying to leave work early, Hillary and Barack have a strained relationship. Oh, and for those whose senses of humor haven’t left 1994, there’s a healthy dose of Bill Clinton libido humor. Like when “WildBill” IMs BarackO about “things heating up in syria,” to convince the prez to send his wife. He writes, “shez drving me nutz — I have 2 party.”

It’s not that it’s not funny—there are a couple of decent gags—it’s that it’s not nearly funny enough to warrant a book. The poor guys were forced to make Abraham Lincoln-emailing-Barack Obama jokes just to pad the thing out. It’s just that when you read a “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” jokes about Honest Abe and Amelia Earhart on a mock-up of the 44th president’s Blackberry, it’s a lot less LOL and a lot more WTF.