Angus Deluxe, Photo: Martha Williams

Americans are bigger than most people on the planet, mainly because we eat too much. We like things large like the Big Mac and our children, by and large, are getting bigger—health conscious media reminds us of these observations again and again. Fast food and convenience stores have tried the healthier options route in recent years, but it turns out, as McDonald’s market research shows, that we actually want an even bigger slightly better burger. Entering locations today, the Angus Deluxe, McDonald’s “third pounder” has a stamp with a big ‘A’ and “100% Angus” printed on the box along with a graphic of two cheery lads playing football.

We gathered some staff to taste test the Angus Deluxe ($3.99, with American cheese, sliced red onions and tomatoes, green leaf lettuce, mayo, and pickles) and its sidekicks, the Angus Mushroom & Swiss ($3.99) and the Angus Bacon & Cheese (pictured above, $4.50). We grabbed some Big Macs for comparison’s sake and then hit the tasting laboratory.

All three burgers are big. The Deluxe weighed 10.8 oz, the Mushroom 9.3 oz and the Bacon 10 oz. As for flavor adn texture, those are subjective matters.

John Dugan - “I very rarely go to McDonald’s—during my twenties I refused to go inside for anything more than a chocolate shake. But McDonald’s has done a few things right with the Angus if they want to get the premium consumer back in the chain—the toppings are actually pretty fresh looking and tasting—the lettuce is really green and the pickles look enticing. The bun tastes more wholesome than a typical Mickie D’s powder puff. That’s why it is surprising that the straight-up Angus doesn’t have as much beefy flavor or juiciness as one would hope for—instead its been charred to a fairly dry consistency. A few bites of the bacon burger prove it the smokiest of the three—but I suspect that smoke comes in a bottle. Oddly enough, though I can’t stand the canned mushrooms on the mushroom burger, that version has a bit more beef flavor pushing through—perhaps ordering a basic version of the Deluxe might strike a decent flavor balance. And stacked up against the perennial Big Mac—the Angus actually tastes more like a real burger and less like an odd sauce between Wonderbread buns. Still, I’m not swayed enough to try this burger another time when there are “natural” burger joints popping up around the neighborhood.

Big Mac vs. Angus Deluxe

Madeline Nusser - “I turn my nose up at badly prepared meat, but somehow I’ve been able to condone my McDonald’s cravings for years. Here’s how I see it: McDonald’s meat is pumped full of so many vegetable-based products and chemicals, that it’s not really meat, it’s a foodstuff. And damn those Bigmacs are good. But the new burgers—angus overly ground to a fine, grisly mixture and cooked until it dies a second death—force me to officially renounce my love for McDonald’s. But in all seriousness, I give it good marks for fresh tomatoes and a nice mushroom/meat combination; bad marks for over-cooked, nearly inedible meat with no variance in texture.”

Kris Vire - “I can’t remember the last time I ate a McDonald’s burger—their usual lifeless gray patties are just too unappetizing. But the bacon and cheese Angus was surprisingly tasty. Not as juicy as something I’d order at Epic Burger or Patty Burger, but moist and with fresh-seeming toppings, and just the right amount of salt from what struck me as pretty decent bacon. The super-dry sesame seed bun was a buzzkill, though.”

Leah Johnston - “It’s no Hardee’s. They’ve had an Angus burger for years.”

Brent DiCrescenzo - “Is there any regulation on using the word Angus? Its got that plywood texture like its been ground-up too fine. It’s a dehydrated Whopper slathered in mayo. McDonald’s beef is particle board to begin with, so thickening the patty doesn’t help. Texturally, it broke down like a meat-flavored sawdust cake with little pearls of gristle. It’s supposed to be ground beef, not powdered. Also, man, I don’t want an uppity hamburger from McDonald’s. Savor your junk food status, Mayor McCheese. Nobody needs a pretentious sandwich, when it’s being pimped by a clown. The mushroom edition tasted alright, but those gummy ’shrooms chewed like Willy Wonka had made them. Or perhaps they’re little bits of Grimace.”

Frank Sennett - “As a McDonald’s aficionado of long standing, I have to say this tastes a bit too much like a BK Whopper for my taste, although it is drier (like Mickey D’s burgers always are). The flavor of the meat is a cut above what McDonald’s normally wraps up and shoves across the counter at you, though, and I do like the mushroom-and-mayo combo.”

Carly Mulliken - “It still kind of tastes like McDonalds, but is good.”

Jake Malooley - “Between the two versions of the Angus Third Pounders I tasted, the Deluxe and the Mushroom & Swiss, the latter’s surprisingly authentic mushroom flavor made it the more memorable burger. (Isn’t it sad that we have to be surprised by authenticity at a restaurant?) The Deluxe, which tasted like a lesser Burger King Whopper, struck me less like a menu item than a cheap shot fired in the fast-food wars. Neither of the burgers, despite the “angus” tag on their boxes, improved much on the typical beef taste we’ve come to know and avoid. If Mickey D’s really wanted people like me to consider eating under the Golden Arches instead of quality beef-between-bun joints like Patty Burger and Epic Burger, the Angus Third Pounder project should’ve been given to their food experts (presuming they have them) and not the marketing department.