This morning I got an e-mail about a group that’s attempting to restore honor and dignity to the Illinois governor’s office…by drafting former Bears head coach Mike Ditka to run for governor via dagovernor.com.

Let’s look at his qualifications:

Leadership: One of only two people to win a Super Bowl as a player, assistant coach and head coach. Also former coach of New Orleans Saints and co-owner of the Chicago Rush, who won the Arena Bowl in 2006. Lead dancer of The Grabowski Shuffle. Strong.

Political experience: Almost none, which makes him at least as qualified as Caroline Kennedy. But Ditka almost ran for the U.S. Senate in 2004 against a nascent Barack Obama. Since we known everything even remotely associated with President-elect Obama is covered in gold, smells of mint and chocolate, and is as comforting as a basket of puppies and rainbows, Ditka could probably overcome this minor hurdle with little effort. Weak.

Bi-partisan support: As most know, Ditka’s a Republican. Some might say this will introduce further gridlock into the dick-measuring contest that has become the state’s governance process. But if you can work with Jim McMahon, you can work with Michael Madigan. Yet his support from the current President-elect isn’t solid as Obama was once quoted as saying “anybody who would give the ball to ‘Refrigerator’ Perry instead of Sweetness doesn’t have very good judgment.” Moderate.

Likelihood of corruption: Mostly limited to gum-throwing, bird-flipping and nut-adjusting. Minimal.

Hair: As seen at right, Ditka’s youthful follicular indiscretions are significant. But since that time, he’s adopted the slick-backed look favored by other tough yet fair-minded individuals as Steven Seagal and Gordon Gekko. Also known to take hair care seriously in his role as a spokesman for Consort Hair Spray for Men. Plus, the last governor of Illinois who sported a ’stache was Edward Fitzsimmons Dunne, widely praised for his intellect. (And by widely, I mean “in this article from Chicago magazine I found after two minutes of Googling”). Strong.

Summary: Sure, what the hell.