Often I wonder what becomes of my In&Out sex columns each week - Who reads them? Who reads them first things first? Who, uh, pleasures themselves  to the tales and treasures held within them? And who takes my suggestions seriously enough to implement them in their own lives? Which is why I love feedback and follow-up emails so much - and particularly this one. Here is what happened (NSFW discussion follows after the jump):

Recently, in In&Out, I responded to a letter from a TOC reader who was so enamored with (and supposedly often bragged about) her boyfriend’s penis that she had told her friend about it, and she decided that she wanted to involve her friend in a threesome with her boyfriend. I shared my thoughts on how to make it a good experience and how to minimize drama if she decided to go through with it (as with any shift in sexual experiences, there are always things to consider, and pros and cons to weigh). 

Well, guess what? The show did go on (as in, the threesome happened) and, by all reports, it went well. The reader and the friend talked, the reader and her boyfriend talked (she writes: "As you can imagine, he was more than excited about it") and they all talked about and agreed upon boundaries and what was, or wasn’t, okay to let happen. It sounds like they had very specific, careful communication and decision-making (e.g., "anything done to his penis with our hands/mouths/boobs was fair game, it would be a one time thing…nothing more, there would be no intercourse whatsever, we would both go topless, and when it was time for him to come, he would come in my mouth, not my friend’s mouth".) 

See how far sex communication can take a person, a couple or even a threesome? If you don’t talk to your partner(s) about what you do or don’t want, or what is or isn’t okay, it can be very difficult for him or her (or them) to know. That’s how feelings get hurt, so please talk to each other! And if you DO talk to each other clearly and with respect, then wonders can happen. I am so glad that our reader, her boyfriend and her friend were able to have a sexual experience that seems to have been exciting, arousing, fun and respectful.  

If you have a sex question (or even a sex mystery to be solved - I’m a bit of a sleuth too!), email me at inandout [at] timeoutchicago [dot] com.